Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Toilet Humour

This weekend my wife asked me to do what is probably the worst job in the history of household jobs - cleaning the toilet!

In the process of doing so she asked me to put one of those silly 'clip to the side of the pan to make it smell nice things' on the toilet, you know the ones duck fresh or something - has a soilid green block thing inside a plastic casing.

Later I was having a wee and she said (typically) "Don't wee on the duck fresh" - women - that line (or variants of it) grates with us men almost as much as "Lift the toilet seat when you wee" and its sister "put the toilet seat lid down" - how about instead of relying on us moving the seat - you do it for a chance, when you finish doing a wee - lift it up so we don't have to!

Anyway - back to the point - when she asked me not to wee on the plastic thing I only had one response "If you put something on the side of the pan I'm GOING to wee on it - it's an in built reaction as a man - target practice!

It's like when there are skidmarks on the pan or paper on the side (dirty cow before you didn't flush properly probably - can't lift the seat OR flush) you have to try and get rid of them with the mighty power of the stream - it suddenly becomes a light sabre and you are Luke Pisswalker.

The long and short of the story - don't put things on the side of the toilet if you don't want us to piss on it - that and LIFT THE LID!


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