Men and Women

Do you know the difference?


NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah.

If Mike, Charlie, Dave and John go out, they will afftectionately refer to each other as Fat Box, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT
When the bill arives, Mike, Charlie, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50 none of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.

A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOM
A man has six items in his bathroom; toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, a bar of soap and a towel from M&S.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. Most of these a man would not be able to identify.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
Woman love cats.

Men say they love cats but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she get a husband.

A men never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who make more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the 'phone, read a book and get the post.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah Children. A woman knows all about her children. She know about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!