Toilet Humour

This weekend my wife asked me to do what is probably the worst job in the history of household jobs - cleaning the toilet!

In the process of doing so she asked me to put one of those silly 'clip to the side of the pan to make it smell nice things' on the toilet, you know the ones duck fresh or something - has a soilid green block thing inside a plastic casing.

Later I was having a wee and she said (typically) "Don't wee on the duck fresh" - women - that line (or variants of it) grates with us men almost as much as "Lift the toilet seat when you wee" and its sister "put the toilet seat lid down" - how about instead of relying on us moving the seat - you do it for a chance, when you finish doing a wee - lift it up so we don't have to!

Anyway - back to the point - when she asked me not to wee on the plastic thing I only had one response "If you put something on the side of the pan I'm GOING to wee on it - it's an in built reaction as a man - target practice!

It's like when there are skidmarks on the pan or paper on the side (dirty cow before you didn't flush properly probably - can't lift the seat OR flush) you have to try and get rid of them with the mighty power of the stream - it suddenly becomes a light sabre and you are Luke Pisswalker.

The long and short of the story - don't put things on the side of the toilet if you don't want us to piss on it - that and LIFT THE LID!

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Cancer and Stroke

I've always been a non-smoker and I suppose you could lump in anti-smoking with that, although I do feel that people have the right to smoke ... just ... not near me.

If I have ever doubted the harmful effects of smoking then this last month would have thrown those doubts out the window and spat on them.

Three events have led to the re-inforcement of my anti-smokingness:

1) I found out a month or so ago that my aunty has breast cancer, she smokes and has done so all her life (well apart from the pre-teen bits anyway). However, other than that she is very healthy; she is a vegetarian, eats organic food only, uses alternative remedies where possible and is generally into good stuff. (she is only 40).

2) A friend I know in passing had a stroke, he smokes heavily and isn't particularly healthy but he is only 30.

3) My mum who for the most part is fairly healthy again apart from the smoking since she was 13 had a stroke and hasn't regained full movement yet (a week later).

I just wanted to share this with you, I'm not against people smoking if they want to and would NOT support an outright band (although I do support a ban in public places) I personally just don't understand WHY!

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Bring on the Brick

My mum has a brick for a mobile phone - literally think the Nokia 3310 and add about a stone to its weight then you are getting near to the size of her phone - in fact pick up a small bottle of coke and that is about the same size.

Why does she carry such an enourmous brick about with her - because she wants to make a phone call and not have to worry about finding the button to call someone in amongst the million other buttons for making the coffee, building a house and writing a will.

That and the fact that she has crap eyesight and can't see the small buttons on 'modern' phones. I'm pretty sure she isn't alone in this - I personally like my phone to do just about as much as it possibly can (apart from play music - I have my iPod for that) and at the moment I have an nGage.

One UK company has already realised there is a maket for bigger, simpler phones that ... well ... let you phone people (and send text messages).

The company is called Retrophone, they launched last year and sel around 500 phones a month to poeple that want their phones to be bigger, tougher and simpler.

The companies founder Olly Pegg said that their customers are 30 to 40 with plenty of money but want a phone that carries out its original purpose.

Now one of the big boys are getting in on the act of Retro phoning.

Vodafone are launching 'Vodafone Simply' sometime this year that will basically be a very simple phone that does calls and text messaging with a simple transparent pricing structure - nice!

I doubt it will just be the old and refusnicks that jump on the simpler phone band wagon, surely it is only a matter of time before the mobile market follows the other big fickle industries - movies, music, fashion and computer games into the retro vibe with people harking for the highlights of yesteryear.

Just look lately we have had the re-birth of New Order, Doctor Who, Star Wars, Space Invaders, Duran Duran and wearing a suit jacket with jeans (lets hope shoulder pads and perms stay in the 80s).

There was a programme on SKY ONE yesterday refering to 'Generation Jedi' the kids that grew up with the first wave of Star Wars who are now in power around the world (in power refering to head of TV companies, countries and other influential people) - that's probably why we are experiencing a 70s/80s retro resurgence - god help us when Generation Spice (and crap pop) get in power in about 10 years.

Find out more in the Guardian article that inspired this post.

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Musical Meme

Thanks Doctovee for passing me the musical meme baton, suppose I should participate so here goes nothing.

Total volume of music files on my computer:
About 10GB although if I deleted some of the TV shows sitting there I might have more room to put more of my CD’s on there, quit limited to a small selection of my collection right now.

Song playing right now:
I’m at work and being force fed BBC Radio Jersey at this exact moment in time and it is churning out ‘Just the way you are’ by Billy Joel, although if you read Random Selection you will see the last five songs I listened to on my iPod.

• John Lennon - Borrowed time
• Dave Matthews Band - Let You Down
• Oasis - Stop Crying Your Heart Out
• Beth Orton - Best Bit
• The Coral - Run Run
• Feeder - Dove Grey Sands

Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me:

• Razorlight – Stumble and Fall
• Beatles – Eleanor Rigby
• Dave Matthews Band – The Dreaming Tree
• The Buzzcocks - Oh Shit!
• Sex Pistols – God Save the Queen

If I have understood these meme things correctly then one of the points of them as well as replication is also evolution and growth so I’ll add a question.

The song that turned me from ‘liking what your parents like’ to ‘have my own musical identity’:

• Oasis - Cigarettes and Alcohol
  
  
  

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Crazy Giant Cows

Crazy Giant Cows
Originally uploaded by Up Your Ego.

Herd of Charing Cross? by Jersey artist Nick Romeril features Jersey cows on huge banners that are being hung from shops and across the street.

Looks really impressive when you walk down the street seeing this massive imposing pieces of art over your head and all around you.

The toad was another recently commissioned piece of public art in Jersey that shows the Crapaud - the islands animal emblem.

More photos on my Flickr page.

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No2ID and The Thick of It

The National ID system is bound to be passed by the UK government, Labour have a big enough majority to pull it off.

I'm not sure how I feel about it although I do have major concerns that everything about me, who I am, where I live, how healthy I am, how much I earn being available from one card and on a national register.

I've watched enough Yes, Minister to know it's not going to be all ha ha he he.

Part of the ID system will mean that people have to go down and sign up to be on the register - probably will be a legal requirment - 1 person doesn't want to do it but will only NOT do it if 3 million other people follow her.

"I will refuse to register for an ID card but only if 3,000,000 people will sign up."

Go to the NO2ID page on Pledge Bank to sign up or just read comments from people that have signed up.

Perfect.co.uk has a good explantion of why they don't want an ID card and their details on the register.

Speaking of Yes, Minister the BBC have finally released the last piece of the puzzle, now you can get all of Yes, Minister and all of Yes, Prime Minister - they released disk 2 recently.

Also on the subject of political comedy the new BBC FOUR sitcom from Armando Ianucci starring Chris Langham - The Thick of It - starts tommorow night and from what I've seen it looks like it is going to be a corker of a show.

About the Thick of It:
The Secretary of State for Social Affairs is having a meeting with Number Ten's Chief Political Advisor. There are a number of press rumours that the Minister is to be sacked. The Minister is told that none of these stories have come from Number Ten.

However, now they're out there, Number Ten would look weak not to sack him. So he's sacked. His replacement as Minister for Social Affairs takes office. And so starts The Thick of It.

Recently described by The Telegraph as "likely to take over from The West Wing as compulsory viewing for the political classes", The Thick of It - devised and directed by Iannucci - offers a less than flattering take on the world of British politics.

Described by Iannucci as Yes Minister meets Larry Sanders, the series unveils the inner workings of the corridors of power.

The series has a sort of semi-improvised feel to it so it looks like it is real - a sort of fly on the wall documentary combined with scripted drama.

Weblinks with more information on The Thick of It:
BBC Press Office
BBC Four
Telegraph
Guardian

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Frozen Ark

A story running on BBC News is either shockingly worrying or stunningly fantastic - in fact I think it is probably both at the same time.

Forget Noah's ark this is Noah's cryogenic test tube. A laboratory in the USA is gathering cells from a variety of animals alive today so that if the species gets close to extinction they can be cloned and their species can be reintroduced.

According to BBC News Online, in theory, no species alive today should ever become extinct, as long as one of the dozen frozen zoos around the world has a cell sample, Dor Betsy Dresser, one of the 'Frozen Zoo' scientists said: "If we'd done this with the dinosaurs... the cells would be alive."

She is talking about the fact that the cells are deep frozen and their metabolic state basically ... well frozen so that they can stay alive - ready to be re-animated when needed - the cells can stay that way for hundreds of years.

The story explains how it works: "Once we've dropped it to the temperature where we know the cryoprotectant is like a slush, we can drop it instantly into liquid nitrogen, and essentially metabolism in the cells just stops."

I like the idea of a species never going extinct, I think it's exciting that we have the technology to prevent it but it is also slightly worrying that we have this technology as well - I can understand bringing back species that we (humanity) have killed off because of de-forestation, poulation or cold blooded killing for sport / warmth / food.

But it doesn worry me slightly that re-instroducing a species that we didn't kill, that died because basically that is part of the natural evolution of this planet might cause some kind of imbalance and tip the scales in favour of one animal over another and change the process of evolution.

Then of course I wonder if evolution has a plan/structure - and then think probably not - it's just survival of the fittest and if what we re-introduce is fitter than the species it kills of then tough on that species and that we could probably just re-introduce that and keep the cycle going - or we could just let things lie and let nature take its natural course.

Audubon Center for Research of Endangered Species

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Power Cuts Traffic

power_cut_traffic2_1805
Originally uploaded by Up Your Ego.

Not knowing where to turn, cars fast approaching each other as traffic turns to chaos when the lights go out.

St. Helier had a power cut today and traffic lights were affected. This picture shows cars approaching each other at a four point junction that SHOULD let one road through at a time.

Fortunatly there were no accidents as drivers in Jersey are used to waiting for each other - we have a filter in turn system - when it works drivers take it in turns to go through.

BBC News Online (Jersey) covered the story that also includes reference to another power cut in Trinity after workers cut through a cable.

Because the power cut happened in the part of St. Helier that houses the BBC Broadcasting House it meant that BBC Radio Jersey went off air - although only for about 5 seconds as the generator kicked in pretty quickly - didn't stop me loosing an hours work when the PC crashed quickly though.

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"iTunes for the broadcast industry"

According to the Guardian today Ashley Highfield, big boss in charge of New Media for the BBC wants the new iMP (internet media player), the tool that will let people in UK watch any show from any BBC channel for up to seven days after broadcast, to become "the iTunes for the broadcast industry".

This has been reported, blogged, commented on in forums, chat rooms and in letters to the editor the world over, the iMP is something we have been expecting for a long time and it really is the BBC doing what it does best - walking on the razors edge of development and innovation.

This time though there is a major development according to the Guardian the BBC is looking for 5,000 broadband users from all over the UK for a massive trial starting in September.

Anyone interested in taking part should email imptrial@bbc.co.uk, including their name, contact details, age and postcode. Although as of writing this e-mail, I haven't been able to get the e-mail address to work.

This trial will offer extra features not available in the previous smaller trial and in addition to what is available in the radio player, including a "series stack" option, enabling broadband users who start watching a series part way through to catch up on previous episodes they have missed. The player will also allow users to filter programmes by channel and select subtitles.

The trial will have 190 hours of TV programming and 310 radio shows.

The biggest revolutionary thing about this player, on top of the fact that a major international broadcaster is making programmes available for free on the internet is the fact that it uses peer 2 peer technology for the distribution of the shows, meaning people share the load on delivering the large video files instead of the BBC having to pay for large servers and massive bandwidth charges.

News Sites talking about this:
BBC Presses on with TV Downloads (BBC)
Britain's BBC to Trial TV Service (Stuff NZ)
BBC to Test Internet TV Downloads (p2p Reactor)

Bloggers talking about this:
Bite Size Tech News
PaidContent.org

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Bogged Down in Blogging

BBC News are launching a weekly Weblog Watch where they will look at the Blogosphere each week and write an analysis of it's various comments and opinions with the view of seeing if the criticism that blogs are pure self indulgence is justified - my opinion - too bloody right it's self justified and I'm proud of the fact.

A blog is defined as a group of links in a date stamped entry - web log.

As with a lot of people I use my blog to vent my frustrations with various news stories of the day or generally as an excuse to publish what is on my mind.

It's all stuff I could probably put in a diary and keep to myself but I'm vain and I like the fact that there is a chance that someone might actually read what I write.

It is pure, personal self indulgence, an excuse to potentially get myself noticed, I crave attention, I'm rediculously opinionated and like to share them with as many people as possible but the beauty of a blog is that it allows people to comment on your opinions.

The blogosphere is one great big giant, internationally water cooler and bloggers are just bored staff standing around it chatting about life, the universe and everything so it's just a lot of people expressing their own opinions on just about anything and everything.

Blogging is a great tool to work alongside news stories to provide people with opinion and analysis.

Look up blogs tied to tags by going to Technorati so you can see opinions on the big stories of the day.

Also check out this Wiki Proxy of the BBC News site that provides links to bloggers talking about news stories as well as links to WikiPedia pages from the body text of a story.

The Guardian Unlimited Weblog Guide is always worth a look, it links to and explains about some of the worlds most important weblogs - unfortunatly this isn't one of them!

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Easy Offender

On one hand they take away a uniform, on the other they want to introduce one, hmm gotta love British politics.

Unless you have been in the bowls of an Easy cruise ship for the past week you will already know that Blair and Prescott are putting their weight (the joke is too easy) behind Bluewater's plans to ban hoodies and baseball caps - now the Home Office plans to make young offenders wear a uniform while they undertake community service orders like planting vegetables or painting walls.

Fortunatly this has been labelled as a 'nasty gimmick', I mean how rediculous does it get - Prescott has described Hoodies and baseball caps on youths as a form of uniform, yet his government want to introduce a uniform for the youths that have actually committed a crime.

The only thing this will do is make the young offenders feel isolated, humiliated and just pretty crap, it will probably lead to them not turning up for their community service work, which will lead to a prison term, which will lead to more money having to be spent on an already stretched prison service - good one!

In a report on BBC News 24 one of the 'experts' said that most young offenders had a literacy level of around 7 years old - that's scandelous - what they need is better education, a chance to develop their basic literacy skills to a level where they can get a job and contribute to society - not being put in a uniform, named, shamed and made to join the chain gang.

Harry Fletcher from the National Association of Probation Officers said that Introducing uniforms, caps, badges or naming and shaming offenders is likely to degrade them, make them resentful and not turn up for community punishment

Oh and if you are wondering why the headline is Easy Offender - that's simple - the BBC report also showed footage of an American Chain Gang - they where all wearing Bright Orange - this included Baseball Caps!

Just to cover my arse - in case Stelios takes offense at the linking of Easy Group to Young Offenders I will make this statement:

"The connection between Easy Cruise and Young Offenders in no way links the company to any form of criminal activity, it is purely down to the fact that the youth on the chain gang where wearing orange and the Easy Group use orange as their corporate colour

"I could have used Orange - as in the telco - instead of Easy Group - but it didn't really work!"

News sites reporting on this story include:
Sky News Chain Gang Gear To Shame Yobs
Daily Express Punishment Uniforms 'nasty Gimmick'
Channel 4 News Yobs face chain-gang uniform shame
Guardian Unlimited US-style uniforms for yobs

SIDE NOTE: When I was spell checking (using Bloggers spell checker) this blog, I had to make Bloggers spell checker learn to spell the word Colour - yes it has a U in it!!

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Love, Who and Revelations

Looks like Christopher Eccleston has found his first big gig after leaving Doctor Who, he is going to star in a Brit-Rom-Com about a guy who thinks he is in love with twin sisters - really trying to get away from the whole sci-fi thing then huh Chris!

The film is being directed by Joe Ahearne, who has directed two episodes of the new series of Doctor Who.

The actor has previously starred in movies Shallow Grave, Elizabeth and Jude and has played Jesus in Russell T. Davis' The Second Coming.

Speaking of the second coming, NBC's Revelations starring Bill Pullman and the stunning Natascha McElhone starts on SKY ONE this week, Tuesday 10pm.

It's a great show that revives the X-Files style format of a doubter and a dedicated believer - except this time instead of a Doctor and an FBI agent we have a nun and an Astro-Physicist - and instead of aliens and conspiracy it's a much simpler tale of good versus evil.

In fact it's the ultimate tale of good versus evil, God v Satan and looks into the signs of the second coming of the saviours and the birth of the anti-Christ, it's not all about the God Squad though - anyone can enjoy it.

The Show is well worth watching, I certainly can't wait to tune in and watch it on a television instead of a computer screen - see downloading does lead to actually watching and participation - the two are compatible.

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TV Torrent Sites Hit

I don't condone the illegal downloading of TV programmes, but to be honest I don't have a problem with it either - it can be really useful - especially If you have forgotten to tape a show you wanted to see, or just generally missed something and didn't hear about it until afterwards.

But what I do disagree with is the heavy handed tactics of the MPAA in dealing with Bit Torrent link sites - for a start the sites aren't really doing anything wrong, if they are doing wrong then so is Google and Yahoo, in fact so is Microsoft - or any site with a search engine attached - they are also linking to files that might not be legal.

One of the most high profile sites to be hit is the incredibly easy to use BTeFnet, although their IRC channel is still open.

The MPAA are targetting six main sites, these are Shuntv.net, Zonatracker.com, Btefnet.net, Scifi-classics.net, Cddvdheaven.co.uk, Bragginrights.biz.

Of all of these sites the British hosted CDDVD Heaven is the one that still remains and are adament they will continue to remain - see a previous blog 'Let UK Law Decide' for my feelings on American associations trying to hit British sites and individuals with American law.

This all really started coming to a head after Rose (Doctor Who) was leaked weeks before it's UK release.

I understand why they want to take these sites down, it's fair play, copyright infringment and all that - but why not, instead of getting all heavy handed - do a Napster and go legal - provide a way for people to legally pay for and download the TV shows they want - when they want them - I'd happily pay.

The BBC are actually going to be pioneering this sometime, eventually with the Internet Media Player (iMP) that will allow licence fee payers to watch any show from any BBC Channel for up to seven days after original broadcast - all included in the licence fee - and even more revolutionary is the fact that the technology will use Peer 2 Peer for the distribution of the files.

Makes you proud to be British.

Practically every news agency has a piece on this story including the Media Guardian and BBC News Online, for other services go to Google News and do a search, to find bloggers talking about the story just go to Technorati and do a search for something like TV Torrent, it's late and I'm too tired to search for you - going to watch Enterprise then going to bed.

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Shut your mouth ... it's KFC

So Kentucky Fried Crap are in trouble over an advert that shows people eating with their mouths open - while singing a crap song about crap food.

They aren't in trouble about the fact that their food is crap, that it is helping keep our nations children obese - but because it shows 'bad manners' - parents around the country have jumped on their soap boxes and written to the Advertising Standards Authority to complain about the Ad.

I don't know what all the fuss is about - my biggest complaint is the singing, the nasty smell from their 'restaurants' and the puke on the street outside after the drunks leave the pub and flock for 'food'.

The words in green are to be taken in the loosest sense possible.

Apparently this is now the most complained about advert in British television history with 1004 complaints so far (in just two weeks).

Although one of the most complained about adverts of all time was a leaflet about safe sex, commissioned in 1995 for that controversial of organisations 'The British Safety Council' - it promoted safe sex by showing the Pope in a crash helmet and prompted 1100 people to complain - sounds like a laugh if you ask me - crap food or the pope in crash helmet?

We got a KFC in Jersey a couple of years ago now, as part of the big Waterfront development that also included a swimming pool, gym, 10 screen cinema, Chicago Rock Cafe, Nightclub and Pizza Hut.

There was a mass of excitement at the time running up to and just after it opened, people loved the fact that it was their, couldn't get enough of the greasy boozer and teenager heaven - you can guess my feelings on it - although their 'heart blocking' Corn on the Cobb is pretty tasty - yes I have double standards and I'm hypocritical - so what!

The one main advantage of KFC opening is that shortly afterwards we saw the closure of the other 'great' establishment - Burger King.

Since we have been treated to the wonder that is Subway - this time I'm not actually being sarcastic - I am a big fan of Subway, I became I suppose addicted while working in Watford - a 6" for lunch every day - soon turned into a footlong - soon led to doubling of the trousers - still it was nice.

Original news story on this that prompted my blog entry is in the Media Guardian. Bloggers talking about it include Adrants who is taking the 'Human Race Looses Sense of Humour line, looking into the fact that after everything this really is just a bit of fun.

A Welsh View see's how the fact that it's crap could cause complaint but doesn't really get how it is offensive. Ad Jab have a good piece on it, basicaly saying the same thing as everyone else - with some good comments.

And many, many, many more bloggers have been bugged by this story.

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Need a new look?

I'm thinking about giving up your ego a new look, simple seems to be the new black in the blogosphere at the moment and it's been a while since I last put my design hat on for myself instead of my employer - keep watching this space.

While I'm here just thought I would post a link to BlogPoly - a version of Monopoly based on Blogging from littleoslo.com - well worth a look.

Hooded Monk

I was just watching Lenny Henry's sketch show on BBC ONE and he made one of the best comments I've heard on the silly Bluewater Hoodie/Baseball Cap nonsense so far.

I wasn't going to bother blogging this story, so many have already done it, much better than I can as well - but when I heard the joke I had to post it.

There was a bit of trouble in Dixons yesterday when the security guards threw out three Benadictine monks but they didn't say anything because they were of a silent order.

I don't wear a hoodie, I don't wear a baseball cap, in fact I don't even own a hoody and don't actually like wearing baseball caps - they make my head itch, I also don't live anywhere near Bluewater.

BUT, because this silly nonsense of banning someone because of what they wear made me a little bit riled I have decided to buy a hoodie, dig out my baseball cap, fly to England, put on the baseball cap, put the hoodie over the top and go to Bluewater wearing them just to make a point.

I mean it really is a little silly isn't it - another year or so and the fashion would have changed, eight year olds are 'into' hoodies now which means the fashion will be dead within 12 months, then something new will come along for the little englanders to get annoyed about - maybe the next craze will be 'old misery jags' John Prescott masks - will they ban them?

What about Michael Glazier - he likes his baseball caps - would he be banned, and Michael Moore? Well I suppose it would mean the end of sweaty American tourists - there's always a plus side!

Also what about JJB and the other sports shops, will they still be allowed to sell them? Will a security guard be posted outside just to make sure nobody tries one on?

The even more worrying thing about this rubbish is that two of the most important polical figures in the country are behind it - Tony Blair and John Prescott - and if John Prescott is behind you - boy do you notice!

Join me in a big up the Hoodie campaign - wear it here, wear it there and wear it to make you look like a pear - do you see what I did there?

Other Bloggers talking about this include The Loneliest Jukebox, A few words before we go,
Stodge, Ben's Blog, chotoye.com, doctorvee, Pete Ashton's Weblog, KTvS, Wherever You Are: Weblog, Padishel and LORD CELERY.

Other news sites covering the story Guardian Unlimited, Independent, CNN, The Sun and the Daily Mail.

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Tie One's Corgi Down Mate

Looks like legendary Aussi doodler, famous for his line - do you know what it is yet - and 'unique' style of music that makes the use of things like the wobble board has been given permission to paint the Queen.

Rolf Harris will paint the Queen as part of her 80th birthday celebrations, and he will do it in an impressionistic style rather than photographic, he said he was delighted and in an unbeliveably cliched way said he wants to catch the inner Queen (or something along those lines).

The painting is being done as part of the BBC programme Rolf on Art that has already seen Rolfe undertake a number of high profile art project, the show will feature the Queen sitting for the Entertainer.

Rolf Harris is the most recent in a long line of artists to paint the Queen, 120 portraits have been made of Her Majesty in total.

A recent, high profile example was one I got to cover as it hit my part of the world. The Jersey Arts Trust commission a holographic portrait of the Monarch produced by Chris Levine, in an interview I did with the artist I asked him how he feels this new media compares to more traditional formats.

We live in an age where technology is becoming increasingly entwined with humanity - we are in a technological revolution and it is natural that my work is accepted of the age, contemporary along side and born out of tradition.

You can find out more about the article by going to BBC News, Scotland on Sunday and The Manchester Evening News

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Get Sick Quick

According to an article in the Guardian hospitals that don't get a high enough number of patients are likely to close.

The health secretary, Patricia Hewitt announced the idea as part of her NHS reforms, which also include allowing more private hospitals to do NHS operations and comes under the general banner of 'Patient Choice'.

So if a hosptial doesn't get many people visiting it, the new plans would mean the hospital could close - so if you like your local hospital you better start getting sick quick.

The new plans would mean that money for operations and treatment would follow the patient and would be paid to the hospital, private or otherwise, so obviously if people don't go to a hospital - because it's crap, or because it doesn't have good food - then it won't get money and won't stay open.

It would without a doubt mean more use of NHS hospitals to help waiting lists fall, but then they probably fewer cases of MRSA so it an only be good for the publics health - ideally we would have safe, healthy NHS hospitals with free care for all - but that is idealism and isn't likely.

Other bloggers talking about this story areThinking Nurse, The Welfare State We're In, whole lot of thinking and Diary of a Capitalist.

Other news sites, in addition to the Guardian reporting on this story include the Independent, Daily Mail, Sky News, Daily Express and BBC News.

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My iPod reads my mind

If you read Random Selection, my other blog where I post the list of songs my iPod played to me on the way to work (I leave the iPod on Random Shuffle and let it be) then you will know what I'm talking about - if you don't you will know anyway as I just explained it.

The reason for posting this in Up Your Ego is that I noticed a strange trend over the last couple of days, the iPod seems to be playing the songs I need at a particular moment - not want - need.

On Thursday it was a bright and sunny, if slightly cold (something to do with northern winds, the north should stop eating baked beans if you ask me) morning, but I hadn't slept much as was bloody tired so was hoping for something upbeat and cheeful BUT not to upbeat and not TOO cheeful.

This is what it gave me:

Modest Mouse - Dramamine
Velofax - Awkward Morning
Razorlight - Up All Night
U2 - Yahweh
The Beatles - What Goes On
The Wedding Present - Make Me Smile
Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Scar Tissue
The Smiths - Panic

As you can see a selection that fit the mood and moment perfectly, and was exactly what I needed to get myself to work.

This morning (Friday) it was pouring down with rain and was miserable outside, it was the kind of nasty rain that sticks to you, the kind that causes car drivers to go through puddles fast so to splash pedestrians (like me), just to make them even more soaked (as if the rain wasn't doing a good enough job on its own) BUT I was in a good, cheeful, wide awake kind of mood - so need the same as yesterday but opposite).

This is what it started with:

The Verve - One Day
Sex Pistols - Holiday in the Sun
Snow Patrol - How to be dead
John Lennon - Mother

A selection that is relatively laid back but still fairly upbeat, then I started laggin a bit, feeling bogged down with rain and water and not really having the drive to move on - then spookily the iPod played me this:

The Who - Pinball Wizard
Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Around the World
Bob Dylan - Forever Young
Libertines - Good Old Days

That got me to work in a great mood, even more cheeful than when I set off and ready to face the day.

For those of you wondering what iPod I have, I have the 4GB iPod mini in silver (the photo is actually of my iPod) with a silver protective case because I'm clumsy, I'm also using black in-ear headphones because I broke the white ones (don't know how though, they just sort of broke).

Check out these iPod related blog posts: Technie Diva is asking "How much do you love your iPod" - quite a lot thanks and Reaching out to Embrace is looking into "iPod Vending Machines", I'll have a coke thanks - my music is on my PC.

Related Tags [Technorati]
iPod Music Mind Reading Weather

Slash Music

This really is a week for top new sites launching, yesterday the BBC launched backstage.bbc.co.uk and today

Channel 4 have launched the brilliant Slash Music (/music).

The new site gives you the opportunity to get your fix of gossip courtesy of Gossip Monster, check out the exclusive

interviews, videos, news and competitions as well as filling up your MP3 player from the download service.

If that's not enough, you can find out about the music in all your favourite Channel 4 shows from our exclusive search.

And if you are in a band Channel 4 are joining the ranks of top unsigned sites like Garage Band and Play Louder, and the now incredible information only service but once legendary new music site mp3.com.

The site will be a great tool (alongside the BBC's Sold on Song) for providing new and unsigned bands with the tools neeeded to produce great music and get themselves heard.

Other Bloggers talking about the new Slash Music site are The Love Pavillion, Adrian Pegg and Penny Broadhurst.

News services talking about the same story include BBC News.

Related Tags [Technorati]
Download Music Channel 4 Unsigned Bands

Blowing my own saxaphone

I don't like to blow my own trumpet, in fact I rarely have cause to blow my own trumpet, so even if I did like doing it I don't have a chance to, but this is an opportunity so I'm going to blow my own saxaphone instead - that I don't have a problem with.

As I mentioned in a post earlier this week (Royal Liberation Fascination) Jersey recently celebrated 60 years of freedom from German Occupation with one giant party that filled most of the town and included a Royal Visit.

As part of these celebrations the BBC in Jersey have gathered together people that were here at the time of the Liberation and during the Occupation and recorded their memories, they have also produced a number of documentaries and special features.

As part of the audio and video gathering, one of my big projects from the past few weeks has been the Liberation Media Archive, pulling all these features together in an easy to use content library.

You can see the fruits of my labour by clicking the link below:

Here is the blurb I wrote for BBC Radio Jersey to publicise the player:

The BBC in Jersey isis providing a chance to re-live many of the stories and personal accounts from 60 years ago as told by the people that were here at the time of Liberation.

The team behind bbc.co.uk/jersey have put together a compelling audio and video archive of content created by the BBC Radio Jersey and Spotlight Channel Island teams.

You can watch a selection of special reports on the Liberation celebrations, listen to documentaries on life during the occupation as well as a wealth of other features that will help us Never Forget what has been before and provide us with an incredible opportunity to re-live our island's history.

I am being interviewed by BBC Radio Jersey this evening and on Monday Morning so will post audio from my interview when it's finished.

Love to know what you think?

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BBC Multimedia Archive Jersey Liberation Occupation

Read the Feed

I have a simple bit of code that allows me to show top headlines from an RSS feed on my site, I decided to take this s tep further and create a feed reader that uses frames to display multiple headlines.

It is a work in progress and is mainly for my own use but if you find it useful let me know.

One of my goals with the app is to have it automatically look for keywords in the 'news' xml files then match that with tags from technorati feeds so you can see links to a story from various news sites alongside blog entries talking about the story - maybe adding Flickr photos and Furl links.

You can view the RSS Feed Reader and it has a link back to the blog so you don't get lost.

Next update will include a cookie to save the xml feeds you enter in the 'enter xml feed' box. I will add the feed list to a database at some point with a login so you can customise your feed list.

One of the inspirations for this app was the BBC's renewed commitment to RSS and allowing people to syndicate their content onto websites and into apps.

Read more about that and the new backstage.bbc.co.uk site in these blogs Hapless band of staff and regulars, Blogging News, sense_v2, Rant Alert, Susan Mernit's Blog, Yesternow, Joho the Blog.

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RSS Syndication Blog BBC

Strike while the cuts are sharp

Here is a paragraph taken from a story on BBC News about a proposed strike by NUJ and BECTU union members working for the BBC.

The BBC is expected to try to minimise disruption if the strike goes ahead but Bectu has said previously they would seek "black screens and dead air".

Bectu said it would "do everything we can to make sure any programmes that are going out are badly affected".

That bloody annoys me, the BBC is a bleeding edge organisation that is trying to reduce it's size. Unfortunatly the few thousand union members that are afraid of change because 'we've always done it that way' are trying to spoil things.

The bit that annoys me the most is that they want 'black screens and dead air' - how does that help the licence fee payer - you know the little guy that pays your wages?

A job at the BBC is a privelidge not a right, just because in the past you might of had a job for life and worked in an employees market-place times aren't going to stay the same for ever.

If the BBC doesn't reform its structure and become small enough to adapt to a rapidly changing market place quickly then pretty much everyone at the Beeb could be out of a job in 10 years if the Charter doesn't get renewed next time.

Half of Bectu's 5,000 members at the BBC voted, with 77.6% in favour of striking.

Among NUJ members, 83.9% were in favour after almost two thirds of the union's 3,500 BBC staff members cast their ballots.

I for one will do everything I can in my little corner to make sure things go as smoothly as possible for the people sat at home watching.

But then again everything is automated now, I doubt they will get their black screens, the general public probably won't even notice a change - unless they target a major live event - even then freelancers will sort the strike problem out.

This is the 21st century, I think it's about time we put this silly striking nonsense behind us, confine it to the 1980's and move forward.

And anyway most the cuts will be made in voluntary redundancies and natural staff turnover so I don't know what the unions are getting so heated about.

Another blogger talking about this is Badly Dubbed Boy.

See also BBC to cut 2000 programme jobs and Strike Q&A from BBC News Online, BBC Staff Threaten Strike Action and Wimbledon and Proms face BBC strike threat from the Guardian, as well as a story in the Telegraph, the Times, Forbes, CNN and more...

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BBC Strike Industrial Action Work Cuts Union

Backstage with Aunty

I was browsing through my various list of favourite bloggers when I came across something I probably should have known about on Tom Coats Plastic Bag.

Apparently the BBC have launched Backstage, a developer network that gives people access to xml/rss feeds of BBC content and gives help and advice in developing new ways of using the content.

This is all part of the BBC response to the Graf report about how it should use its website effectively to make it stand out from the commercial sector - taking a look around backstage.bbc.co.uk there are already some stunning ideas coming out.

A paragraph on the site says it all:

backstage.bbc.co.uk is the BBC's new developer network, providing content feeds for anyone to build with. Alternatively, share your ideas on new ways to use BBC content. This is your BBC. We want to help you play.

Some of the feeds on the site, in addition to news and sport, include Top of the Pops, Doctor Who news, Radio and Music as well as travel news.

I'm thinking of creating a mobile version of Up Your Ego using my RSS feed - maybe I will use some of the BBC feeds to enhance it.

Or maybe I will ressurect the news and blog reader I was working on a while ago that looks at the content of a news article from an rss feed strips out key tags and looks at technorati to find related blogs to give you a view on the article - but then again maybe not as someone has already done it much better than me.

In the meantime some of the better apps include a WikiProxy version of BBC News online that links out to blogs talking about a specific news story and to wikipedia entries relating to specific keywords in an article.

A brilliant interactive weather viewer and Ben Metcalfs News and Sport digest that gives you a printable version of the most popular stories from selected catagories that you can print and read on the way to work.

Another great example of the BBC moving in directions a commercial company couldn't afford to - and maximising the licence fee in doing so - is the creative archive - a joint partnership with BFI, Channel 4 and the Open University.

The goal of the Creative Archive is to make video content free for non-commercial use. It also includes the Brilliant Ideas Factory from Channel 4 that provides a huge amount of information for aspiring creatives.

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BBC RSS XML News Feed BBC Backstage Blog

Helicopter Display

Helicopter Display
Originally uploaded by Up Your Ego.

This is a photo I took on Monday 9 May at the Liberation Day celebrations in Jersey - it is a Lynx Helicoptor display that saw the two choppers get so close to each other their blades almost touched.

BBC KO Celebrity Wrestling

Looks like ITV have decided to let their nearly dead duck die, Celerbity Wrestling has been dropped from the schedules after performing worse than a drunk clown at a kids birthday party.

The Saturday night reality celeb-fest was put up against all new Doctor Who in a prim-time spot on Saturday Nights and it failed miserably.

In it's first week it didn't do THAT badley - it got a total of 3.8 million and a 21% share, which, up against anything but Who would ave been pretty bloody good - unfortunatly it WAS against Who and the figures got a LOT worse.

The next week the audience ran away screaming, dropping to around 2.6 million.

Doctor Who reached 10.5 million in it's first week and a 40% share the week of teh Dalek episode.

Unfortunatly for the Great British public, ITV's replacement for Celebrity Wrestling isn't really much better - they are putting another celeb-fest show in it's place - this time a show that follows 12 celebrities at a luxury Fijian resort where viewers decide who would make the best couple.

The name for this wonderful piece of television - Celebrity Love Island - I think I would have prefered to watch celebrities beat 10 pounds of crap out of each other.

Other bloggers talking about this include Scary Duck, DoctorVee,Nick Barlow and a great piece by No Geek is an Island.

ITV to drop Celebrity Wrestling

Related Tags [Technorati]
BBC ITV Doctor Who Dr Who Celebrity Wrestling TV Media

BBC Send it Your Way

The BBC are making more of their RSS feeds available and are relaxing the rules that restict how they can be used.

Until recently you could only use the BBC News Online RSS feeds in a news reader such as Mozilla Thunderbird, now you can use the feed to put the latest headlines on your site - we have done this on our news page (not all BBC feeds though).

Weblogs have made use of RSS feeds for a long time in syndicating their content, sites like Furl, Flickr and Technorati use it extensively to allow you to find a variety of links/images and blogs in the same place.

This is a great thing, I think being able to see headlines from top news services alongside free comments and opinions from bloggers and behind the scenes photos from Flickr can only be a good thing for the free flow of information in society.

Here is a quick bit of code that will let you put RSS feeds on your site if you have an ASP capable server.

Just follow these simple steps:

1) Create an asp page called something like news.asp

2) Download these files and put them on your server somewhere
news.xsl - rss.inc

3) Put this line in the head section of your news.asp page
<!--#include file="rss.inc"-->

4) Put this line in the body of the news.asp page where you want the links to appear (this is the headline stories from BBC News Online).
<ul>
<%=displayRSS
("http://newsrss.bbc.co.uk/rss/newsonline_uk_edition
/front_page/rss.xml",
"news.xsl") %>
</ul>
NOTE: To get this to fit inside the area I've split it onto three lines, copy it all and then put it back together again.

Related files:

You will need to Right-Click and Save As... to put these links on your computer, otherwise they will just open in your browser.

Alternatively just download the whole thing as a zip file.
news_reader.zip

news.xsl
This is the stylesheet and controls the way the xml file is displayed on your site.

rss.inc
This is the code that imports the xml file and puts it through the xsl stylesheet

news.asp
This is an example page to show you how it is put together.

RSS_GET is a simple little script that allows you to do the same thing in PHP if you don't have a windows server.

BBC NEWS | Technology | BBC eases rules on news feed use

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BBC RSS ASP News Headlines Blog

Eye for and Eye

I thought I would update you on the continuing saga of my contact lenses and the ultra hip opticians that insists on texting me when they come in.

They haven't texted me yet, in fact they have barely contacted me, actually they haven't contacted me at all, I however, have contacted them twice - I'm impatient, I can't help it!

The first time I contacted them it led to the original post about texting me, that was about a week after I ordered them, they are supposed to take a week to ten days to arrive.

The second time I contacted them was this morning, over a week AFTER the lenses were due to arrive - this is fine - I live in Jersey, were used to things taking longer to arrive - but what bugged me, no not bugged me - made me laugh - was what they told me when I phoned up.

The nice woman on the phone said she was just going to check if they had come in - she came back a couple of minutes later (after leaving me listening to crap adverts on the phone} to tell me ONE had arrived, I mean ONE contact lense, what the Shakespear am I going to do with ONE contact lense?

I hear you screaming - wear it in one eye - oh if life was that simple - unfortunatly I can barely see out of my really crap eye so I just have a token bit of glass with a very small prescription to keep things even - my better eye isn't great but I have good enough vision to see people, read and do everything everyone else does - enough rubbish about my eyes.

The reason for the rubbish about my eyes is also the reason I can't just wear it in one eye - the lense that came down is the one for my really crap eye so it wouldn't make much of a difference.

Oh well back to glasses for another few days.

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Contact Lenses Glasses Optician Eyesight

Royal liberation fascination

In my job I have to cover a number of major events, one of these is when a member of the Royal Family visits the Island, today was one of those days.

May 9 is Liberation Day in Jersey (the only part of Great Britain to be occupied by the Nazis) and today marked the 60th anniversary of the day Jersey was liberated from German occupation.

There were a number of massive events taking place around the island, a lot of which were centered around re-constructing the events of Liberation Day 60 years ago including re-constructing the moment the Liberators arrived on the islands shores.

The whole thing was incredible, there were literally thousands on the streets, lining pavements waiting for the Queen and Prince Philip to arrive or watching the events of the day unfold.

Jersey is probably the most Royalist part of Great Britain I have ever seen, the look of pure joy on the faces of people getting to see their Queen was incredible, it really was a memorable day for the people there - and for me as someone who likes to watch people and how they behave/interact in different situations.

The whole day went with a big bang - in fact 21 of them as the Force 135 re-constructors fired a 21 gun salute to the Queen as her plane landed in the island - scared the living heebee geebee's out of me.

I spoke to one of the people in the reconstruction team - the only Jersey man in the team - and he was full of pride and job for his island and for how helpful the island had been to people visiting - telling stories of welding tools and petrol cans.

I've also never seen the island covered to such an extent on national television before, BBC Network news, BBC News 24, ITV News and SKY News where all there as well as hacks for the national newspapers and radio station journalists.

But one thing that stood out for me, above all else was getting 'that look' from the Queen. I am not exactly what you would call a royalist, in fact I'm about as likely to stand up in support of the Royal Family as George Bush is to develop an ounce of common sense.

The Queen stared directly at me and frowned, OK I know she probably wasn't actually looking at me but it sure felt like it - I have a theory that she has some kind of built in anti-royalist radar - she smelt me out.

I know I said I wouldn't stand up in support of the Royal Family but for one person to be able to cause such a strong sense of community and togetherness in an island population it has to be pretty special - I wonder if Bush gets that kind of reaction when he visits somewhere?

The Queen said this in her speech to the veterans of Force 135 and people that lived throught the occupation in St Helier's Liberation Square:

May I express the hope that your freedom which you are celebrating today will continue to inspire you in the years ahead.

And, in a vein I feel vitally important to the future survival of humanity, tolerance and forgiveness, she also said this:

None of us young or old should allow ourselves to forget the sacrifices and the sufferings of those long years.

But I think all of us can be heartened by the efforts which have been made in recent times to promote reconciliations, tolerance and forgiveness, symbolised in the short drama we have just enjoyed.

Now I'm not a royalist, you know that already, but as a person I'm starting to think the Queen is actually alright, it's just the institution I'm against.

I will post some of my photos of the day onto my Flikr profile within the next few days.

News reports mentioning this topic include Royals mark Islands' liberation from the BBC, Queen in Jersey from the Times, the bottom of a story about Russian war veterans in the Guardian, Channel Islands Celebrate VE Day on Channel 4 News, Channel Islands Celebrate VE Day again but this time on ITV News.

You could also read Channel Islands Liberation Marked on CNN, Queen Marks Liberation of Channel Islands from Sky News, Queen Commemorates Liberation from the Daily Star.

Other sites covering this story are The Mirror, Ananova and the one that feeds them all The Press Association.

You can also read more about the German Occupation of the Channel Islands from BBC News and see some of my photos from Liberation Day in two sections, Gun Salute and a Bronze Tree and Waiting for the Queen from BBC Jersey.

I couldn't find any blogs talking about the same topic but if you run one give me a shout and I will add a link.

Related Tags [Technorati]
Royal Family Liberation Jersey WW2 German The Queen Channel Islands

Please Sir! Can I have some more...

No this isn't a blog entry about the urchin boy that wanted more grub but about a completely different Oliver - Jamie Oliver to be precise.

Apparently the NHS are after his skills to revive school waiting lists - something Lloyd Grossman amidst a huge amount of publicity AND a budget of £40 million failed to do in 2000.

Doctors and administrators working for what is the worlds fourth largest employer are looking to the young gastro guru to sort out the nightmarish problem of crap grub in the hospital kitchen - maybe they can get Kim and Aggie to sort out that nasty MRSA thing next!

After his massively successfull campaign to sort out school dinners where he not only stuck to budget but actually got the little rascals eating his 'crap' as they so wonderfully put it.

So Jamie Oliver so far: He got naked with food, he got orange with Sainsbury's, he's taken on the inner cities kids, opened a restaraunt and turned them into chefs in the hope of giving them a start in life and he has taken on dinner ladies and sorted out that nasty Mr Matthews and his Turkey Twizzlers

Now the NHS are calling him - what next work canteens - I know a few that could do with a shake-up - or how about the Asylum Centre's - get the Daily Mail readers backs up a bit.

A few interesting blogs on various points raised in this post include Pathogen Alert, The Welfare State were In and Murky.

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Jamie Oliver School Dinners MRSA NHS

Let UK Law Decide

I noticed a report in The Register about the MPAA trying to take two British guys who run bds-palace.co.uk because it links to sites that host Bit Torrent files.

The interesting thing about this claim though is that they are trying to apply US law to the UK - not going to happen buster - apparently the MPAA have said that if the US can get the British Government to follow them into the Gulf war they can get them to accept US law - fortunatly our Judges have more sense than our leaders.

The thing that might go against the two is that their server is hosted in the US and not in the UK. But as they are British citizens the MPAA will have to sue them under UK law in a UK court.

That will only be a good thing - Bit Torrent has legitimate uses under British Copyright Law and it will be really good to see it tried in a UK court and get a ruling on what is acceptable.

There is another article looking at this story from a different angle.

Other sites talking about Bit Torrent and downloads include BillBoard and Bittorent News.

Also taling about Bit Torrent are PVRblog and the Techlaw blog. There are other blogs on Technorati tagged with the word Bittorrent.

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Download Bit Torrent MPAA Copyright

No iTunes CI

I was trying to sign up for the various legal music download services last week only to find that they don't work in the Channel Islands - a curious area that isn't part of the UK and isn't part of Europe but we are British and we do get English TV, Radio and Newspapers.

I got in touch with the various services, iTunes, OD2 and Napster to ask why it doesn't work and if it was likely to ever work - apparently it is all down to where the card is issued and it has to be a UK issued credit/debit card - mine is!

So as it stands at the moment - officialy - the Channel Islands can't use iTunes, Napster or OD2's various services - but that is only officialy.

For anyone living in the Channel Islands - when you sign up for iTunes just put your postcode in Lower Case and it will let you sign up no problem.

Still not sure why it doesn't officialy work - might be something to do with the Royal Mails stupid post code database that usually ignores the Channel Islands - who cares - I got in eventually.

SEE ALSO: iTunes, Napster, OD2.

Another great site to look at for a massive amount of information on signed bands of all time is mp3.com the once great new music website is now a great music archive. The best place for new music is GarageBand.com.

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ipod itunes Channel Islands Jersey Download mp3

Going Green and Growing Another Head

I'm not sure I see anything wrong with Nuclear Power as such - apart from the huge amount of nasty waste it produces that contaminates the already fragile Earth

What I do have a problem with is when a Government tries to get a policy on it (or anything else) in when nobody is looking.

According to the Observer a huge nuclear power station building programme is set to be kick-started by the Government - OK it isn't the best form of energy - better than gas/oil or coal or in fact any type of fossil fuel but the way the fact that the Government intend to introduce it at the start of parliament when nobody is likely to notice bugs me.

In the Observer it shows a quote from the 46 paragraph 'leaked' briefing note for incoming minister for the Department of Productivity, Energy and Industry Joan MacNaughton.

It says that "decisions on new nuclear power stations must be taken urgently." It advises that "it is generally easier to push ahead on controversial issues early in a new parliament".

It is that second line that bugs me, what it basically reads as is: 'this might be a bit controversial, nobody will notice if we do it now'.

Going Green

The other aspect of this report that REALLY gets my goat is the fact that it warns that key policy targets to reduce carbon dioxide emissions and boost green energy are likely to fail.

There are better ways of meeting targets than going Nuclear - if the government had invested more money in researching alternative renewable energy sources sooner they may not be in this position now.

I suppose part of the problem is the irrational 'not on my doorstep' attitude most of middle England seems to have when it comes to things like Wind turbines.

Nuclear Reduces Emmissions

The document does go on to say that new nuclear power stations do not emit carbon dioxide.

It states: 'We now have 12 nuclear stations providing 20 per cent of our electricity carbon-free. By 2020 this will fall to three stations and 7 per cent as stations are retired.'

It also goes on to say that a decision is essential quickly because it takes 10 years to get a power station operational.

But it adds that there are also obstacles that would need to be overcome in building a new generation of plants, including gaining public acceptance and dealing with nuclear waste.

Battle to the Death of the Earth

The report also hints at a battle between the Department of Trade and Industry and the Environment Secretary.

Apparently DTI wants a higher cap on carbon emmissions from industry as they claim the current levels are affecting productivity.

Wheras Defra are campainging for reduced immissions and are against nuclear power (because of what to do with the stockpile of radioactive spent fuel).

I don't think this is a battle that will calm down in a hurry it is the age old battle of business versus the environment.

Business doesn't want caps on emmissions and deffinetly doesn't want to have to deal with 'cleaning up' after themselves.

The environmentalists want a cleaner earth for our children and children's children.

I'm on the latter side although I do see a need for high productivity and a strong econony I don't support it at the cost of the planet we live on.

Other Blogs

You can see photos of Greenpeace demonstrations and events as well as other demonstrations and protests on Flikr.

And other blogs discussing Nuclear Power include Kirby Mountain and Center for Media and Democracy as well as Gasoline, How to Save the World for Free and Common Ground, Common Sense.

And you can read Secret papers reveal new nuclear building plan which is the original Observer report on Guardian Unlimited.

source:Guardian Unlimited

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Politics Nuclear Power Government Energy Parliament Green

62 and away

Charles Kennedy and the Liberal Democrat party really have outdone themselves today getting 62 seats (so far) - there are still 22 seats to declare.

In total the LibDems have gained 11 seats in the House of Commons while Labour lost 47 and the Conservatives gained 33.

This really is a historic victory for the Liberal Democrats - in my last post I said it was their best result since 1929 in fact it is their best result since 1923 (when they returned 158 MPs).

The party lost at total of six seats in Newbury, Leicester South, Guildford, Devon West and Torridge, Weston-super-Mare, Ludlow.

They gained seats in East Dunbartonshire, Hornsey and Wood Green, Ceredigion, Cardiff Central, Birmingham Yardley, Manchester Withington, Rochdale, Leeds North West, Bristol West, Inverness, Nairn, Badenoch and Strathspey, Taunton, Solihull, Westmorland and Lonsdale, Cambridge, Falmouth and Camborne.

The Conservatives gained most of their seats in the South East and Eastern regions while the LibDems did well across the country as a whole - showing a demand for full, fair three party politics in Britain.

Charles Kennedy said of the election:

"Overall this general election has clearly resulted in a new House of Commons which I think will be healthier in the party political sense than what the last eight years have been.

"The government cannot ride rough-shod over people's instincts, people's inspirations and people's views and we will have a major role to play in that.

"If you look at where we have gained seats in this election, with a view to the next general election, well-poised to begin the task of providing the real alternative to this Labour government."

The Conservative leader Micheal (Dracula) Howard has said he will step down sooner rather than later to make way for a younger leader - mmmm!

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Politics General Election Government Vote Liberal Democrats Campaign

The Polls Correct

So the final outcome was almost identical to the exit polls - Labour with a 66 majority and an increase in seats for both Conservative and LibDems.

LAB 353 CON 195 LD 59

But as far as I'm concerned it was a scorcher of a night - that sort of drop in majority for the Labour party can only be a good thing for the country, a majority of just 66 seats means that Labour will need the support of other parties to get their policies through.

The other interesting point is the percentage of the overall vote - this is almost identical to the Polls taken before polling day and shows the lowest percentage of votes for the party in power ever.

LAB 37% CON 33% LD 23% OTHER 8%

It's also a great result for Charles Kennedy, it gives the LibDems one of the highest percentage of votes and highest number of seats since 1929.

As I have posted before this means a better chance of true three party politics and a fairer system of government when policies actually have to stand up to strutiny.

Charles Kennedy has said:

"The era of three-party politics right across the UK is now with us.

"That is something that I welcome. I think it's a healthy development and I think that what we are seeing taking place in terms of the progress of the Liberal Democrats right across the land - in Scotland, Wales and right through England - is something to celebrate."

This is a result that the people trying to send a message to Blair will be pleased with, we didn't get a tory government and Labour's majority has dropped massively.

I give Tony a maximum of two years before he hands the party reigns to Gordon Brown.

There is some great analysis of the night from other bloggers including Perfect, The Guardian, Chicken Yoghurts Live Blog of the evening, UK Today, the delightful Doctorvee and of a transcript of 'that' tussle between Paxman and Galloway.

The 'tussle' between many questions Paxman and Galloway took place just after it was announced that George Galloway had beaten Labours Oona King.

JP: Are you proud of having got rid of one of the very few black women in Parliament?
GG: I'm not - Jeremy - move on to your next question.
JP: You're not answering that one?
GG: No because I don't believe that people get elected because of the colour of their skin. I believe people get elected because of their record and because of their policies. So move on to your next question.
JP: Are you proud -
GG: Because I've got a lot of people who want to speak to me.
JP: - You -
GG: If you ask that question again, I'm going, I warn you now.
JP: Don't try and threaten me Mr Galloway, please.
GG: You're the one who's trying to badger me.

Absolute election night classic - you can watch the full interview on the BBC News site.

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Politics General Election Government Vote Liberal Democrats Campaign George Galloway Labour Conservative Jeremy Paxman

Results

I'm signing off for the night - I will write an analysis of the election in the morning, going off to sit back and watch the election on the BBC and keep track online - doubt I will post again.

Comedy service will resume from this weekend.

01:30 Hold, Gain, Loss
The Liberal Democrats have so far held 5 seats and lost Newbury to the Conservatives but haven't gained any, Labour have lost 3 seats and the Conservatives have gained 3.

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Politics General Election Government Vote Liberal Democrats Campaign

Labour Big Guns

UPDATE: Jack Straw has held on to Blackburn he said in his speech "it is a testament that the Labour party are the largest organisation in Blackburn bringing faiths and communities together" although it did see an increase of 12% for the LibDems.

The number of votes for the BNP was worrying again - nearly 3000 - what is it with the North of England!

LibDem Hold

The LibDems held another seat in Torbay but saw a droip in their majority thanks to UKIP taking an extra 4000 votes.

Big Guns

I wasn't going to post again until the first LibDem gain but the big Labour Guns have held their seats including David Blunkett, Two Jags Prescott and Gordon Brown - they all lost votes to the LibDems though.

Gordon Brown declared in his exceptance speech that Labour would "Listen and Learn" when they form the new Government next week.

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Results 00:50

First for LibDems

North East Fife
Sir Menzies Campbell takes this seat for the LibDems - but then that was fairly obvious as he is a major figure in the party and this is a safe seat.

The LibDems have also held Southport.

A flood of declerations coming in now so I'm not going to post anymore until the first gain to the LibDems comes in. Read full details on the BBC site.

Two Jags pie boy is back in for Labour in Hull but LibDems still up here.

SNP hold in Angus - first SNP seat.

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Big LibDem gains in Newcastle

The LibDems have made massive gains in Newcastle - haven't actually won a seat but have come pretty close.

Tyne Bridge - 9.4% Swing to the LibDems
Newcastle Upon Tyne Central - 1.1% Swing to the LibDems
Newcastle Upon Tyne East - 9.8% Swing to the LibDems

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Results 00:30

First LibDem dissapointment

The first big target seat for the LibDems - Newcastle Central stayed with Labour but only just. The LibDems gained 13% and nearly made it.

First Conservative

The first Tory seat of the night was in Putney - a marginal seat - taken back from Labour - LibDems and Conservatives both up with Labour down 9%.

LibSwing

Another three results, another three Labour safe seats and another three large swings to the LibDems.

Hull and Hestle - LibDems 5.9% up on 01
Vauxhal - LibDems 6% up on 01
Rotheram - LibDems 6% up on 01

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Not Likely for Kilroy

According to the BBC Kilroy isn't likely to get elected to parliament in the Midlands - he is standing under his new Veritas party in an area that saw him elected to the European Parliament as a UKIP MEP with 31% of the vote.

What the BBC did predict though was that people will vote for the Eurosceptic parties (UKIP, Veritas and BNP) which will mean less people vote for Labour giving the underdog Conservative a chance of actually getting in.

Apparently the Conservative candidate has had no backing from the Big Wigs in his party and is only 29 which would make him the youngest Conservative candidate.

On the subject of Kilroy - just found this little comedy gem on Eclectech - great song.

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First Scottish...

Rutherglen & Hamilton West
Scottish Labour - 24054
Scottish LibDems - 7942
SNP - 6023
SCP - 2621
SSP - 1164
UKIP - 457

LibDems up nearly 7% labour down - a swing of nearly 5% from Labour to the LibDems - an example of another bashing for Labour in one of their 'safe seats'.

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Taking the Scalp

The BBC and their wonderful election coverage that has so far seen a near fight between Jeremy Paxman, Ian Hislop and the Floppy Conservative Boris Johnson over postal voting.

It also keeps going on about decapitation and taking off scalps - wonderful lovely stuff for a Thursday night.

Still Peter Snow and his Swingometer are wonderful.

They just had a 21 year old girl on who voted LibDem in her first election because she couldn't bring herself to vote for any of the other parties and another who voted Labour (even though she supported the LibDem policies) because she was worried that if she voted LibDem the Conservatives would get in.

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Results 23:35

Washington East re-elected the Labour candidate but then again this was also to be expected - this is their seventh safest seat.

Again it shows that the number of votes for Labour are down again, conservatives are also downbut the LibDems are up by about 6% - this is becoming a bit of a pattern - if this continues in Marginals the LibDems could be doing pretty well.

Conservatives - 4772
Liberal Democrats - 6245
Labout - 22310
BNP - 1367

Again I'm concerned at the number of votes the BNP seem to be getting in the North of England.

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Turned Away & second result.

Sunderland North were the second to declare and it looks a lot like the result for Sunderland South - A big drop for Labour, an increase in votes for both LibDem and Conservative - a bigger increase for the LibDems than Conservatives.

A bit of a kicking for Labour again.

Labout - 15,719 (share down 8%)
Conservative - 5724 (up 3%)
Liberal Democrats - 4277 (up 3%)
Independent- 2057
BNP - 1136

Not Allowed to Vote

Aparently people waiting to vote in Norfolk North didn't get the chance - they were waiting in line outisde but when it came to 22:00 they weren't allowed in.

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Turnout

According to BBC News it looks like the turnout was around 68% - up about 10% on last time - not bad - apparently some areas where actually waiting in line to vote.

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Swinging

Sky are already having a bash at the swingometer based on just 1 result (Sunderland)

If this result carried across the country (based on percentages) the Labour party would have an 88 seat majority and the conservatives would have 206 while the LibDems would reduce their number to around 43.

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Sunderland Say ...

OK so Sunderland are in the world record books for getting their first four times in a row and they have beaten their previous record but does it matter?

Labour got in again, but then it's a safe Labour seat so that was expected - but the number of votes for Labour reduced from last year by around 2000 while the votes for the Conservatives increased - is this a good sign for the conservatives.

But the LibDems also increased so maybe it's just a bad sign for Labour? The decrease in Labour vote was split between Conservatives and LibDems.

Labout - 17,983
Conservative - 6923
Liberal Democrat - 4492
BNP - 1166
Monster Raving Loony - 149

I just can't believe that the BNP beat the Loony's.

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Look Around You

To get the most out of a blog you need to see it in context of other blogs giving you their opinion on a similar topic.

What better time to experience this than during a General Election, and especially on a general election night.

Here are a list of other top bloggers doing the same things as me - liveblogging the election - by showing you this when I get bored and tired you can look elsewhere.

Bloggers following the Election Live

• Chicken Yoghurt
• Europhobia
• Nick Barlow
• Doctor Vee
• Curious Hamster
• Small Town Scribble
• Phil @ Cabalamat
• Gordon Brown
• The UK Today
• Backword Dave
• Dear Kitty
• davblog
• qwghlm.co.uk
• If You’ve a Blacklist
• Masochist’s Dictionary
• Red Pepper
• Militant Moderates
• The Skakagrall

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Labour in on route 66

The BBC/ITV exit poll is predicting a Labour victory - ok nothing new there - all the polls have suggested that since day dot but they are predicting a Labour majority of just 66 - a lot lower than the 100+ some polls predicted and a hell of a lot lower than the 160 odd they had in the last parliament..

Will this mean a good night for the Conservatives or the LibDems?

According to bbc.co.uk/news the Liberal Democrats' hopes that they would make a significant further advance in seats where they are challenging the Conservatives look as though they will not be realised.

I'm still hoping the LibDems do better than the 2 seat gain predicted in the Exit Polls.

Taking in account a very quick survey of friends and family I'm not suprised the Conservatives are predicted to have done as well as this.

People are protesting against Labour but aren't prepared to go as far as voting LibDem.

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Sky hits first

Polling Stations close at 22:00 but the first major election show has already started - Sky News kicked off their Vote 05 programme at 21:00 after an election friendly advert from Cable and Wireless.

Sky News, ITV News, BBC News and CNN are all claiming the 'Biggest and Best' election coverage ever - I'll reserve jugment until I've spent the next few hours switching between them.

We should know the first result by 22:45 and will have a good idea of who will be in power and the general shape of government by about 02:00 - for now lets just sit back and see how much padding Adam Boulton et al can do.

They all have flashy graphics, they all have big studios, they all have 'experts' Sky will probably have celebrities and ITV have the London Eye - but they will all have pretty much the same content - with their own politcal leanings put through.

While we are on the subject of election coverage I would recommend the Dekstop Scorecard from BBC News Online, it's a great tool - enter your constituency and it keeps you update throughout the night.



The same page also points you in the direction of a great election party pack that includes everything you need to play Election Bingo hold a sweepstake, make cocktails and more.

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Labour of Love

I know I was raving about the sun and their efforts in getting out the Youth Vote but I just spotted something that made me wince a little bit.

We all know the sun is about as far from impartial as well as the other Murdoch masterpiece Fox News but this one really takes the Jacobs.

This image is on the homepage of the Suns website (and probably in their paper somewhere) it basically shows Tony Blair and Gordon Brown in a Man Utd shirt with the words 'Come on you Reds' above them and the words Vote Labour below.

Who needs to pay to advertise your party when one of the nations biggest newspapers gives it to you for free.



Gotta love that impartial journalism there!

Also in the same vain the sun also carried a topless picture of a girl for each party - the Labour girl was 22 the Conservative 18 both attractive - they pulled out a pretty ugly old 'boiler' (as they put it) for the LibDems - running scared ickle Labour fan - aww poor ickle Labour fan.

But getting slightly more serious here (when DigiGuide finishes telling me Little Britain is about to come on anyway) Labour and their supporters must be getting worried, Tony Blair screwed up big time when he followed Bush (great comic in the Guardian - Vote Labour, Get Bush in the morning) into Iraq - it was an unjust, unnecessary war that saw British soldiers killed when in wasn't needed.

As The Man Charles Kennedy said on Question Time (leaders special) the politcal climate was changing in Iraq and it was only a matter of time before Sadam was overthrown anyway.

The Liberal Democrat stance on the Iraq war as well as a number of sensible honest policies is going to cause the other two parties a real headache tonight - I'm certain we will see the LibDems take their highest number of seats yet.

A question I wanted to ask the Tony McWalter Labour candidate for Hemel Hempstead (he has been PM since 1997) which is a traditionally Tory town was this:

"Has Hemel Hempstead moved to the left or has Labour moved to the right?" and follow it up with "If Hemel has moved to the left are you worried about the Liberal Democrats".

Labour have shown over that last eight years in government that new labour are almost as conservative as the conservatives - the two parties differ on a number of key issues but for the most part they are one and the same.

I honestly believe that Tony and his Cronies are running scared of the true left of middle party - the LibDems - the party that really is thinking what the country is thinking - but them I'm as bias as the sun - for the Liberals.

The Left out Liberal has done the work in finding a number of good posts on why the country is ready to oust tony.

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Let the Polls Begin

I know I said I will live blog today but there really isn't much going on at the moment - a few people have voted including the main three leaders - Dracula was the last to vote for some reason - probably trying to avoid the sunshine.

I'll write more as the day goes on, trying to find the funny side of the polls.

The best I've seen so far is a report in the Guardian that a 14 year old girl was given a polling card - but given the fact that a couple of months ago an 18 month old baby was given a card it doesn't hold much weight as a good election funny.

Britain's voters heading to polls
Labour Set to Win
Voters go to the polls

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30% Lib Dem

UPDATE:

I went back to the Hemel Today site about 2 hours after I posted this blog and noticed that they had closed the poll, the final outcome saw Labour creap ahead by 1% but the undecided tally still stayed at 13% - wonder how many of those are voting LibDem? Apparently 700 people took part in the online poll.

ORIGINAL POST (AND POLL):

OK they don't sit that high in the overall - national polls but in a non-scientific poll on the website of the area I'm voting in - Hemel Hempstead Doctor Richard Grayson is currently 1% ahead of his closest opponent - the current MP for Hemel Hempstead Tony McWalter (Labour).

How do you plan to vote at the general election
26% Conservative
29% Labour
30% Liberal Democrat
2% UKIP
13% Undecided

Hemel Hempstead has been a Labour seat for the last two general elections (after they pulled it from the Conservatives in 1997) - it is also number 54 on the Conservative hit list.

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Make it 16

Just imagine how many more 'young' people would actually get out and vote if the age was lowered to 16 - when I was 16 I was much more likely to vote than when I was 18, my interest sort of dissapeared for a few years in the bermuda triangle that is late teens early twenties.

The Liberal Democrats have said they would lower the age to 16 and there are calls for all the major parties to add it to their election proposals. I've even touched on it in a previous post.

The advantage of lowering the age to 16 is that you would catch people while they were still interested, and hopefully keep them interested enough to vote the next time when they hit the Bermuda Triangle.

The more young people there are to vote the less chance we have of a grey government ruled for the retired instead of the working.

I've got nothing against retired people and feel as much should be done for them as possible - higher pensions, free health care etc... but not at the expense of the younger members of society who pay taxes to cover the cost of higher pensions et al.

Sites of interest:

Electoral Commission

Children's Rights Alliance for England

Electoral Reform Society

National Union of Students

British Youth Council

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Rock the Vote

I'm not really a fan of the comic book that pretends at playing Newspaper - The Sun - but credit where credit is due - and in this instance credit is due - their Rock the Vote campaign is a great idea.

The basic concept is to get the under 25's out to vote - apparently one in four have said they won't bother.

So far they have signed up support from Robbie Williams, Madonna, Oasis' Noel Gallagher and Coldplay frontman Chris Martin, as well as the Zutons and the Brand New Heavies.

Let's just hope more young people get out and vote - let the main parties know that we count - otherwise we will end up with a grey government (no John Major isn't coming back) - a government run for old people only - as they are the only ones that bother to vote.

More praise

I've alredy mentioned my lack of inspiration for the Sun - but more credit is due - they have signed up three young election candidates (one from each main party) all under 30 to write a blog of their campaign - neat concept - this blogging thing - never catch on.

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Great Gains ... it's the LibDems

According to a report in the Independent today, the Liberal Democrats look set to take their highest number of seats since 1923 and their highest percentage of the overall vote since 1983.

You can't help but wonder how much better they would have done if 16 year olds where eligable to vote.

But the Liberal Democrats are worried they could lose some of their own marginals to the Tories unless Labour voters back them tactically to keep the Conservatives out.

They say seats such as Cheadle, where they scraped home with a majority of 33 in 2001, are vulnerable unless Labour voters back them.

I promise normal comedy service will resume from 6 May - we will have highlights of funny election moments over the next two days but most of the blog will be based around the election and it's final push.

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Content tagging

OK so CNN are in one the tagging bandwagon (you'll notice Up Your Ego tag ever blog entry) with an article debating whether it is the future of the internet etc etc... we've heard it all before - every 'new' technology is touted as the 'next big thing' - sod it - there will be no BIG THING, just a series of little things that move towards an overall bigger picture.

As well as content tagging I noticed on the Media Guardian site a suggestion by that most 'sensible' of open idea forums and totally unbiased decision making OfCom.

The suggestion being put foward by the mega regulator is that content across all media should be labelled appropriate to its audience - so a James Bond film on TV might have a BA for Bad-Ass stuff whereass Telletubies might have a PE for Pure Evil.

Seriously though - they also suggested that, as part of it websites would be labelled appropriate to their audience as well - to give users warning of what they are going to see - can't see that working can you?

The first picture that conjures up is a bloke in a suite with an OfCom name badge going round to Mr Dead Businessman from Nigeria and asking him if he would kindly put a note at the top of his spam saying something along the lines of - Suitable for Gullable Only.

Or maybe Mr V.Agra (as it seems to be calling itself lately) could be told to put a note saying - Suitable for sex addicts and oldies only.

I don't think the Internet labelling will work (well maybe as a voluntary code) but the idea of labelling a tv show (as long as it doesn't look horrible) could work - The BBC support it but so far the commercial companies are worried it would dilute their brand (hmmm - if ITV's brand was diluted any further it would evaporate).

It's currently 1:15 in the morning, I will make this funnier, add an image and some top links in the morning (ok afternoon) when I'm a little more awake.

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Kennedy Campaign for All

Sorry - another politcal post, but as there have been major press conferences today I though it important to post a comment.


Charles Kennedy and the Liberal Democrats have taken a bit of a beating at the hand of Tony Blair and the Labour party - fortunatly for the Lib Dems and unfortunatly for Labour Charles Kennedy came out on top as Tony's claims that a vote for the LibDems is a vote for the tories has been disputed then spat out as utter crap by more than one source.

At his press conference today Charlie pushed home (as far as he could with the dogs barking in the background - a tory plot to not let sensible policies be heard maybe? ) the LibDem policies that would mean equality for all - young, old, women, men, aliens, androids, teddy bears and even Michael Howard.

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Sunburn to Frostbite

God, Alla, Jehovah, Buddah, Zippy, Big Bird or whatever omnipotent great thing in the sky you believe to have created the universe must have been having a pretty sadistic day when he created the little speck currently known as Great Britain.

More specifically when was creating the weather system around that speck.

In the last three days of this wonderful Bank Holiday weekend (that I've worked 2 out of the 3 days) I've gone from having sundburn on Saturday to near frostbite on Monday with a little bit of that horrible sticky rain thrown in for good measure somewhere in the middle.

God created the heaven, the earth, all the creatures in it, humanity, plants and lots of really nice stuff in just six days - on the seventh day he realised he hand't given Britain any weather yet and just picked the scraps out of the bin and thew it all over the area in one big lump.

God bless the British weather.

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Change to promos

So it look like after countless complaints and whinging from certain sectors of society the BBC are finally taking a long hard look at the way they trail programmes.

I for one don't actually mind programme trails (in the right place) as they let me know what is coming up that I might otherwise have missed.

I watch TV fairly sporadicly, I have a few select programmes I watch and that is about it - most of the time I'm either watching DVD's, listening to music, reading or browsing the web.

As an example of how appropriatly placed trails can help - I was watching something on BBC ONE a few months back and saw the trail for Super Volcano, if it wasn't for the trail I wouldn't have known the show was coming on and would have missed out on some good TV.

What I do think is that the BBC are right to review their policy on it, having Phil Michell scream at you during the closing moment of comedic costume drama 'Casanova' wasn't a particularly pleasant experience.

Then having a tense will he live or not moment at the end of the first part of a two part episode of Doctor Who spoilt by seeing him run around in the trail for the next part wasn't great either.

I suppose the next one will be a trailer for Balamory or some other mind numbing children's TV show (I have kids, I'm allowed to saying it after having to watch it countless times over the last four years) half way through Hustle or Spooks - or maybe have it pop up on the heart monitor in Casualty.

Love trailers as long as they are in the right place, not at the end or in the middle and deffinetly not during the opening sequence. One or two trailers for programmes or services between programmes are ideal.

MediaGuardian.co.uk | Broadcast | BBC investigates on-air promotions

SOURCE: Media Guardian

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Stupid Americanisms

Just um ... like a quick post for a Sunday evening ok dudes!

No I haven't gone completely insane, lost all sense of sensible grammer, discovered a third head that speaks 'American' and stuck the other two in a bucket of sulphuric acid - I have read a brilliant line on the ultimate politcal piss take website.

The Monster Raving Looney Party have been fielding candidates in UK elections, under one name or another since the early 1960's when Screaming Lord Sutch (he died in 1999) started campaigning for the ability to vote at 18 (rediculous idea, never catch on - the party of course now campaign for the vote at 16).

The party became the Official Monster Raving Looney Party in 1983, but I'm not going to go into any more Looney history here - it's all on their website at www.omrlp.com.

Reading their Manicfesto (yes Manicfesto) there was one policy that really jumped out at me ... this one really could work.

Any student who says the word “Like” when not grammatically called for, as in, “Hey, I’m .. Like, going down the… like, pub”, or, “I was, like, don’t do that” will be made to go and stay with George Bush for a week in order to discourage them from other stupid ‘Americanisms’.

The party are famed for their crazy costumes, crazy names and crazy policies (or should that be looney policies) but a number of their 'looney' ideas are starting to find their way into 'acceptable' politics.

This is one that probably won't catch on - but worth a laugh "We intend to make free university tuition available to all students named Grant."

Not wanting to be caught out the party have also released their Manicfesto for the year 2525 and their are some real comedy gems in their - this one on politcal reform really made me chuckle.

After New New New Really New Labour abolished 5-yearly General Elections in the early 2200's in favour of elections every 25 years, we pledge that a Loony government will abolish New New New Really New Labour, as they have an awful lot to answer for.

The Conservaliberal party, formed in 2234, and now headed by a zombie instead of a vampire, will have its powers curtailed by imprisoning all its zombie supporters, who have a nasty habit of going round eating people.

The Green Party will be allowed to say "I told you so" and look smug whenever they like.

If you live in one of the handful of areas they are fielding a candidate and can't make up your mind who to vote then " Vote for insanity, you know it makes sense!".

Another site I ran for a while (before I got bored of it) was the Anthem for England campaign website, calling for ... you guessed it ... an anthem for England - that isn't God Save the Queen (save that for UK events).

Fortunatly the Monster Looneys have a policy on that too - an idea better than any I saw while running Anthem for England:

In future the National Anthem will be ‘Bring Me Sunshine’ as sung by Morecambe and Wise. It is quicker, more tuneful and people know the words. On state occasions Prince Philip will juggle his spectacles up and down and say, “Hey!” before the whole of the The Royal family do the dance off at the end. If the music can not be found because it was left in the pub then it may be substituted by ‘The Hippo Song’ by Flanders and Swann.

And in closing this sensless blog for a Sunday evening I leave you with one final word from the Loonies:

To keep up with the present government we promise to introduce many policies that have not been thought through properly, purely for cheap votes.

I won't be voting Loony myself but I hold my crazy hat off to them for bringing a bit of light relief to the stuffyness of British politics for so many years.

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