Go On Dave an Alibi to Watch and Laugh Daily

There’s more to the headline above than an excess of capital letters that would have my English teacher steaming at the ears and some of the pedantic readers of bbc.co.uk/jersey knawing their teeth.

There is a reason I filled it with caps - you see it’s full of new television channel names - well one is an old television channel name - but it’s part of the same family.

The words in the headline that aren’t either a television channel name or part of one are ‘and’, ‘to’ and ‘an’.

Go On Laugh Daily (or G.O.L.D.), Alibi and Watch are all new channels (or at least re-brands of existing channels) that are being launched on 7 October by the UKTV network.

The UKTV brand will remain for the subject specific channels (at least for now). So that is Documentary, History, People, Style, Homes, Gardens and Food.

Dave is the other consistent - but that was given its new non-UKTV brand not very long ago and is already a ‘personality’ channel.

UKTV Gold, previously UKGold is set to become G.O.L.D. or Go On Laugh Daily - a channel moving from being an all round UK repeats network to a comedy network - that I’m guessing will play shows from around the world.

G.O.L.D. is on Sky 110 (laughdaily.co.uk)

Drama seems to be evolving into Alibi - a network specifically showing crime dramas - its tag line is ‘The Deadliest Place on TV’.

Alibi is on SKY 132 (theperfectalibi.co.uk)

And then there is Watch. tagline ’simply good TV’ that seems to be the place that will include Richard and Judy.

Watch is on SKY 109 (justwatch.co.uk)

On first glance I’d say this is a womens network but actually it looks like it will include everything not included on the new look UKTV as well as a load of other stuff from around the world - as well as movies. This looks like its going to be one of my new favourite channels.

And it’s brilliant that these newly branded channels are creating a new identity, that they will make it easier to see some of the best programmes made (of all time and of recent years) but, and this is a big giant great huge but - what about the new stuff?

I mean it’s great that they are putting emphasis on showing great content but they are showing great content made by other broadcasters (with the exception of a few cheap to make shows).

At the moment the only big budget dramas, comedies and daring shows are being made by the BBC, ITV and Channel 4.

BBC is fully public service - funded by the licence fee. Channel 4 doesn’t have to make a profit as its state owned and ITV has the background of being the ‘third’ channel and the second major British network.

It also has a unique place as the third channel on all platforms so can demand more advertising revenue - and has that background to draw from.

Maybe we will start to see more dramas and comedies (original ones) coming out of the likes of UKTV, Virgin, Sky et al after digital switchover - but I wouldn’t hold my breath.

Why make something new and spend huge amounts of money on a series that might not be successful when you could buy it in from the USA or Canada - when you guy buy a repeat from BBC or ITV or when you could make something relatively cheap but high impact that would get as good a ratings.

After all - in a advertising funded world where the advertising revenue is directly reflected by the number of viewers - you’ll do anything possible to get viewing numbers up for as cheaply as possible.

So if you can make a chat show that will get 2 million viewers but only cost £10k per episode and bring in £50k - you’re hardly going to spend £30k on a drama or comedy series (even a cheap one) that will get the same viewing figures and the same advertising revenue.

That is why the BBC is important - that is why incentivising ITV to keep making high impact dramas and comedies (as well as local news and childrens) is important and why some kind of public funding should be found for Channel 4.

Maybe the BBC could give the revenue from the sale of ‘formats’ to Channel 4. Not the whole of BBC Worldwide just the international format rights - so ‘Strictly Come Dancing’, ‘Weakest Link’ and even ‘Top Gear’.

I’m not saying give the SHOWS THEMSELVES to Channel 4 (especially not TopGear - that needs to stay on a commercial free network for Clarkson alone) but the revenue from international deals - oh and maybe a share of magazine and merchandising revenue on those shows as well.

Let the BBC keep the money from DVD sales of dramas, comedies and other shows - let it keep international sale rights for those shows - just give C4 the formats.

Just an idea. But also slightly off the point - public service broadcasting is essential to retain a high standard of local television commissions - to retain investment in British broadcasting and production as a whole.

If it were left to the market we would see lots of self help, chat shows and imports - with the occasional big budget drama or comedy every year - instead of the dozens of dramas and comedies we see today.

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Who am I?

A friend asked me how I would rank the places and things that impact my identity the other day.

The concept behind it was to rank the things that make me who I am in order - starting with national identity and then gradually working down the list.

So the first thing on the list for me, as a British citizen, would be … well British but the concept then allows for anything to be put in the order of identity after that.

So it could be Geek, Musician, Drummer or even English, Magician or Lunatic. I’ve personally gone for geek as, in terms of personality I think of myself as a geek before I think of myself as English (even though I was born in England and spent the first 18 years of my life there).

Anyway, I’ve been thinking long and hard about it and this is the list I’ve been able to come up with so far - it may change depending on my mood.

• Father
• British
• Geek
• English
• Journalist
• BBC
• Jersey
• Blogger
• New Media/Web
• Drummer
• Hemel Hempstead

I don’t actually factor European in there at all - anywhere - mainly because (and don’t get me wrong I like the European idea) I don’t feel European or any connection with the continental idea of Europe.

When I think of Europe I get all stereotypical and imagine old French philosophers sitting at a cafe smoking and debating the world. I’ve never lived in France and only visited once and I’ve visited the rest of Europe (with the exception of Portugal) even less.

So my knowledge, understanding and relationship to Europe is limit to two week holidays in Portugal, having a cousin from Germany and a day trip to France in Primary School.

Anyway - I did toy with the idea of showing this list in other ways but in the end a good old fashioned list was the best way of displaying a few items.

What defines you? My wife suggested that I didn’t need to make a list as the tag cloud pretty much defines me already, that what I wrote about on my blog was a measure of who I am already - but to me that’s more a measure of what I like than who I am.

Here is the tag cloud as of now:

apple Arts audio BBC BBC iPlayer blog blogging british channel4 comedy Design download Entertainment facebook google interface internet iplayer ipod itunes itv James May Jeremy Clarkson jeremyclarkson jersey Last.fm Media mobile Music newmedia News Podcast Radio stig Technology Television top gear topgear torchwood tv UK United Kingdom Video writing youtube

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Nearly back to normal

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Signs of growing up: The Proms

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Writing reviews of TV

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Calling ‘The Doctor’

Here is an article I wrote for bbc.co.uk/jersey. It isn’t often I write articles that carry across and can also be posted here - this was one of the few.

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The Top Gear Masses

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What happened to childhood?

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Elf and Safety

Jeremy Clarkson has been going a bit rant heavy recently in his Sunday Times and Sun columns. That’s not unusual as those columns are regularly rant heavy - what’s different is that the rants are an extreme dig at Health and Safety - even James May is at it. [Read more]

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