Top Gear back 21 June

Everyones favourite motoring based televisual entertainment programme featuring three middle aged men returns on 21 June 2009.

The 13th series of the iconic BBC Two show will be pretty much business as usual - but when that usual business leads to some of the best television in the world - I say keep on keeping on!

Top Gear producer, Andy Wilman said in a BBC Top Gear Blog Post: “I’m trying to distract viewers from what the title of the actual film would be, were this new series an actual film.

“It would be Top Gear 13, which sounds like something with Dolph Lungdren in it, or bad hotel porn.”

The next series will have seven episodes and will feature a mix of all the things we’ve grown used to over the last few years.

Andy said: “Over the coming seven-week series run a race or two will occur, supercars will slide from the left of your telly screen to the right of your telly screen in a cloud of tyre smoke, and a man in a white coat bearing a gold envelope will trigger a series of comedic and juvenile adventures.”

I don’t see anything wrong with that. And for more details the BBC Top Gear Magazine Transmission Blog will be publishing a daily preview.

Some of the highlights from that blog and from the Final Gear Forum so far seem to suggest the following will, may or may not appear in series 13 of Top Gear.

The boys buy some old cars and join a group of beardy enthusiasts on a classic car rally - I’ve been to a couple of these for the Beeb and the smell - oh god the smell!

From the Mole blog post: “The twist? The office chose their co-drivers too…”

So these are the confirmed features

• Train vs Car vs Bike [more]

That’s the only preview from the official blog so far - but what has been suggested on the rumour mill that is the Final Gear Forum?

To avoid spoiling your surprise - just in case you stumbled across this hunting for a start date (although I put that in the title), I’m just going to give you the headline for the feature and a link.

You choose if you want to follow that link to find out more.

NOTE: These are not all proven to be true and some are probably not. Just a taster to wet your Top Gear appetite.

• Chevrolet Cruze
• Racing Royal Mail
• Evo destruction
• Racing with dinosaurs
• Veyron, McLaren F1, LP-670 Super Veloce and a 722 SLR
• Affordable banker cars
• School run cars

I’ll add more to this page as I find them - in the meantime take the above with the pinch of salt they may require - nothing should be taken as gospel until you read it on the BBC Top Gear Blog or see it on the show.

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Loving the Eurovision

I’m a big fan of the Eurovision song contest - so much so that my new music, bleeding edge BBC Introducing branded radio show will be taking a Eurovision theme this week.

Don’t get me wrong I won’t be playing Boom Bang a Bang or even Dum Tek Tek (Turkish tip for Eurovision top spot that means Boom Bang a Bang).

But I will be playing songs from around Europe - namely the four countries with a reasonably large population pressence in Jersey - just so I can keep a bit of a local angle.

So my ‘alternative’ Eurovision picks covered four countries: Ireland, Poland, Portugal and France - oh and I dropped in one from the UK for good measure.

Iowa Super Soccer for Poland, Xwife for Portugal, Fight Like Apes for Ireland and Naïve New Beaters for France. And my UK tip came in the form of Frank Turner.

And looking now at the Google tips for Eurovision success (based on search results from different European countries) France (Patricia Kaas) is the only one in the top ten - not including Jade from the UK who is ninth - Frank Turner was only a wildcard throw in as I normally play UK artists anyway.

Here see for yourself - the top five are Turkey with 375 votes, Norway with 351, Greece with 264, Sweden with 205 and Ukraine with 173. The Google forecast puts UK in ninth with 70.

This is based on the number of searches for each countries entry from around Europe - with each country awarding a number of points based on the number of searches to each of the finalists.

It excludes searches for an entry from within that singers country - so a search for Jade Ewen from within the UK won’t count.

Personally I don’t care whether we win or not - although it would be nice to see a ‘Home Eurovision’ in 2010 - even if it will probably end up costing around £3 million.

Although if the Aussies could vote then Greece would get 12 points - at least that is the way it’s shaping up on the SBS Unoffical Scorecard - although that is only based on the semi-final - might be interesting to keep track of though.

Anyway - if votes are awarded on how actively people are pushing for their country on Twitter - then I’d put Norway first, Hungary second and Ukrain in third. Although that is only based on a quick search.

I’ve been a fan of Eurovision since I was a small child - watching it while my parents made sarcastic comments in the background - I loved the comedy, the glamour (or more often lack of) and VERY OCCASIONALLY the music - but most of all for the spectacle and … Terry Wogan.

But this is the first year we won’t have Terry in the hot seat - his place is being taken by another sarcastic Irishman - this time in the form of Graham Norton. Personally I think, based on interviews I’ve seen - he’s going to fill the boots admirably.

This is the first year though that I’ve watched the semi-finals - I always avoided them in the past because for me Eurovision is a social event and my wife would only tolerate the final.

But thanks to the wonder of Twitter I was able to watch it and engage with other Eurovision fans from around the world - including some (like @ewanspence) who were in the Eurovision arena.

I was there for both semi-finals twittering along and the two hours went by really quickly - I’m now going to spare my wife the “pain” (her words) of the whole final and Twitter along to that as well.

My Eurovision follow tips include: @bbceurovision, @sara_cawood, @ewanspence and @thoroughlygood. Anyone you can think of I’ve missed? Oh and feel free to follow me @upyourego.

NB: Main page photo credit: BBC Eurovision web team.

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Star Trek Review

I spent all of 30 seconds deciding on the headline for this blog post. Sometimes I try to come up with something clever but in this case I took the decision to apply the Ronseal approach ‘it say’s what it does on the tin‘.

I go to see a lot of films, I’m a big cinema fan and to be honest always have been. Testament to that is probably the fact that the last post was about the theatre of cinema and I’ve written regularly on the subject.

This is going to be the first actual film review I’ve posted to the blog - so please go easy on me. I’m more experienced at audio reviews on the radio - and for that reason I’ve included the review I did for BBC Radio Jersey on Star Trek.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

And I’m not going to break my tradition of avoiding writing down my thoughts in review form by explaining how I came to the thoughts I expressed in the audio above and repeating a few of those thoughts in text format.

So I guess the first step is to tell you that I would give this 5 stars, but I don’t like the idea of giving stars it is FAR TOO LIMITED a rating model. Lets give it 97% out of 100%.

I think the headline of my review was really that this is a Star Trek film that transcends the Star Trek universe and opens the franchise up to not only a new generation but also to people that wouldn’t normally consider SciFi.

Enjoy that? Yeah well you’ll enjoy the whole movie a lot more - I’m a big Star Trek fan, have watched all the movies and have them on DVD - but this is by a LONG WAY the best Star Trek movie I have ever seen.

This film transcends Star Trek and even to a certain extent SciFi - the film creates that ever needed entry point into the wider Star Trek universe for people that never got into the series before.

It takes that wonderful concept the Gene Roddenberry created all those years ago and then updates it for the modern cinema going era - with speed, polish and humour.

In fact one of the most wonderfully surprising aspects of this film was the comic lines - they were brilliant, perfectly timed and well delivered - the other is how effortlessly I found it to believe in the new cast as the characters I know of old.

In my radio review I compared this re imagining of Star Trek to the re-launch of Doctor Who on the BBC - keeping the basic essense of what makes it special but making it for a more cine and SciFi literate 21st Century Audience - or as Mark Kermode said: “Star Trek the Smallville years.”

If I can convince her to go I’m 90% certain that my SciFi hating wife will love this movie - taking the aliens, epic space battles and jumping from a space shuttle through the atmosphere on to a floating drilling platform out of the equation - this is part buddy movie, part coming of age movie and part comedy.

It’s amazing to witness the growth of both Spock and Kirk from their teenage selves into the future standard bearers of Starfleet - to watch as the crew of the Enterprise (that we know) come together for the first time and find their friendship and how, as I’ve already mentioned - funny the film is.

At the very start the movie set itself as, although part of the bigger franchise, although a prequel to the Star Trek series we know - something different.

It involves time travel and alternative time lines - it allows for the series to continue with the new cast and to do things that might not be ‘cannon’ and get away with it - a very clever move.

There is a LOT more I could say about it that I can’t think of words for right now - a lot more about the actual film, an analysis of the whole thing but that will have to wait until I know more people have seen it.

I loved every minute of it and can’t wait to see it again.

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The theatre of film

When I was a teenager, more than a decade ago now (!), I worked at the Odeon Cinema in Hemel Hempstead.

It was while at that cinema, long before the days of single operators running the kiosk, tearing tickets and playing the film out - that I trained as a projectionist.

My actual job was working in the cinema itself - mainly either in the kiosk/Hagen Daz bar or at the box office - but I convinced the boss to let me train two days a week in the projection box.

The cinema had something that is lacking from most, if not all provincial cinemas now though - an actual team of projectionists.

There was the old pro that had been doing it for decades, the young buck just getting started and the jaded geek who was only doing it until something better came along.

And then there was me, two days a week getting a sample of this noisy, sometimes very active and fairly grubby environment - yes they did send me for elbow grease and a left handed screwdriver - no I didn’t fall for it.

Anyway I’m straying from the point of the article.

One of the first things I was shown, before lacing and splicing, before what all the bits and pieces do - was the theatre, the show.

To these guys playing a film wasn’t about lacing up and pressing play - it was a performance of light, sound and curtain up.

When I go to most cinemas now you sit in a comfortable chair with a cup holder and leg room and look at a white screen until the adverts start - then the film plays - then you leave.

Back when I trained I was told you have to dim the various lights at just the right time, in just the right order - fade up the sound, start the picture rolling and open up the curtains - timed perfectly.

Then as the adverts end - filmed in widescreen - and the trailers begin - in cinemascope - you repeat the process for the lense change.

You fade down the sound, fade up the music (music selection is a whole other story - as is me breaking Herculese), close the curtains and turn on the mid-lights.

Change the lense and then repeat the process in reverse to get the trailers started - you stay there until the film is playing and then you check on the other films.

With regularly 20 minute checks in between.

I haven’t experienced that in nearly a decade - the theatre of the film as I’ve only had access to a mainstream cinema chain staffed by multiskilled Customer Service and technical operators (or whatever the job title happens to be at the moment).

That was until I went to see The State of Play at the Empire Leicester Square.

The performance was back, there was an usher with torch to show me to my seat - which had a number. The lights and curtains did what I expected, all change for the lense with fading and raising.

Then there were staff standing by the door to say goodbye to me on the way out - THAT is the way cinema SHOULD happen.

OK so there was nowhere to put my drink and the leg room could have been a little more generouse - but the experience left me with a smile on my face - a smile the film only just contributed to.

I’ve seen three films this week - all with a BBC connection.

The first was in Birmingham at a generic Cineworld cinema - staff were pleasant, the environment modern and comfortable - the experience - efficient!

The film - In the Loop - one of the funniest comedies I’ve ever seen, a piece of comedy genius that left me longing for the up coming return of the series - The Thick of It.

The second was in London at the Vue West End and the experience was there although on a much smaller scale - it wasn’t a big budget or high profile film.

The staff were fine but it was daytime so not on their ‘customer service’ best. The cinema was alright - even if the seats felt more like airline seats and my drink didn’t fit in the holder. But it had a curtain that raised and lights that dimmed - it was sort of the worst of both worlds if I’m honest.

The film - FAQ about time travel - was funny, had a few good solid laughs and a slightly weird premise which made it interesting - there were two of us in the cinema and I think most people who might have enjoyed it will be put off by the title.

It’s a film that will do well when it hits the BBC as a television movie - it was a BBC Films and HBO Films co-production.

Then the final film was at the Empire Leicester Square and that was were my faith in the projectionists art was restored - secured in the knowledge that it is still happening - even if it is only at the flagship cinemas.

Thanks Empire - means a lot to me.

There is an Empire Cinema in Hemel Hempstead - my parents home town - so the next time I visit them I’ll have to make a stop off at the cinema to see if they’re keeping up the tradition that the Odeon (on the same site) before it held so important.

The trade-off we usually have to make with the cinema is comfort and convenience over experience and production.

Empire Cinemas seem to, at least in my limited experience of them - said ‘no, we won’t make that trade off - have comfort AND production’.

Oh and I’ll give Vue an extra thumbs up for the Pearl and Dean advert block instead of the three letter (I’m sure on of them is D) that appears everywhere else.

It just felt cool hearing the Pearl and Dean music.

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Bands: Don’t go with Facebook

There is a blog post on Mashable written by Stan Schroeder which basically explores and asks whether you would be prepared to pay Facebook for your own persistant URL - so mine would be facebook.com/ryanmorrison.

In my case the simple answer is no. I’d much rather set up upyourego.com/facebook and give that out to people with a redirect to my Facebook profile.

I’m not a big fan of facebook, I’ve got a profile and have to use it as people seem to insist on getting in touch with me through it - but I personally wouldn’t pay for a vanity URL as I DON’T WANT people to find me on there - unlike Twitter, Flickr, MySpace et al where I actively hunt for friends (god that makes me sound sad!).

But, I do present a new music show for the BBC, a show that involves playing music by unsigned bands with no label promoting them and usually no website - so after playing a track I give the bands myspace address.

This is great because it means people can find out a lot more about the band easily, can listen to more of the bands music and find out when they’re playing next.

It also acts as a great way of cutting some of the waffle about the band ‘to find out more go to myspace.com/greatband’. In fact for the rest of this article I’m going to use an actual MySpace profile for a group in Jersey I’m into right now.

Brobots: myspace.com/brobotsyeah

However an increasing number of bands are turning to facebook as their platform of choice - basing this on the fact that as ‘they’re are a lot of people on facebook’ they’ll be found easier.

Unfortunately this creates a problem for giving out that domain name, for selling the band on air and for the band selling themselves at gigs.

If the band have Facebook as their prefered social site of choice it means to promote the bands home online I have to say something along the lines of ‘to find out more or hear other tracks from ‘insert band name’ go to Facebook and do a search for ‘band name’ and it is probably the fourth one down

Instead of the much friendlier - go to myspace.com/brobotsyeah.

So from that point of view only - I’d say it would be in the interest of a band, comedian etc to pay for a premium URL - just to make marketing easier. But personally, if I was advising a band I would tell them to YES get a Facebook fan page and fill it with links to all the other social sites online that work with bands much better.

Or just stick with MySpace - after all the people listening to the music and will be really into it, the people playing the music on the radio and finding new bands to play at their club night - still use MySpace.

In face almost all my band communication and a large chunck of production for my show is done through MySpace.

And when a band only have a Facebook profile I’ve started setting up tiny URLs for the bands that only use Facebook and giving that out on air instead.

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Genius? Old person repellent

My iPlayer pick for today comes in the form of Genius - now I know this has been around for a while now, firstly in the form of three radio series on BBC Radio 4 and a television series, currently on BBC Two.

Before I go any further I should explain that the headline isn’t a three word review of the show itself, instead its the idea I submitted - but was obviously thrown in the rejection bin.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/e2/Genius.jpg/75px-Genius.jpgAnyway back to Genius - I’ve picked the third episode in the television series, not because its the best but because its the most recent.

Dave’s special guest is celebrated film and stage actor Jonathan Pryce.

Oh and here is a bit of info on my ‘Genius’ idea - otherwise known as bench blocker.

Every lunchtime, regardless of the fact that they have all day to go into town - hundreds of retired people pick between the hours of 12 and 2 to take their lunch - on the benches in town.

They fill every single bench up - leaving just enough room to entice the unsuspecting youth into their void of nonsense and loneliness.

That young person then spends the enterity of their one hour lunchbreak from the tedium of an office and twitter listening to the tedious stories of war, cats and the daily mail - all while sat next to some smelling slightly of wee.

The alternative to this situation is to spend your entire lunch hour wandering the streets while eating a sandwich - and fending off birds or to sit at that same pointless, tedious desk you’re trying to escape.

Well with the old person repellent that will no longer be necessary.

The idea is to create a device that you hide under every bench and at exactly 12 and up until 2 it operates - all old people will avoid this device at all costs as, like a vampire with sunlight - this device makes old people whither.

I’m thinking something that plays a combination of punk music and Chris Moyles.

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Dwarf takes virtual twist

I’ve resisted posting every snippet of information that has come out of the Red Dwarf team at Dave - but this one was too good to not talk about.

You already know that the show is coming back - for a three part special called Back To Earth, I’m not going to talk anymore about the specifics of the episodes.

What I am going to talk more about is the ‘Alternate Reality‘ element that seems to be springing up around the show.

There are already two very good official Red Dwarf web sites/sections - the first is the official Red Dwarf site and the second is the Dave Red Dwarf pages.

But now, much like the BBC did with Doctor Who and Torchwood, there will be ‘in programme’ website created as part of a AR Red Dwarf game.

There are already about six sites live and three of them have the first stage of content up.

Lister is coming home (listeriscominghome.co.uk)

This seems to be the starting point of the game, it’s basically a flash video with a postcard for Kryten from Lister with Indian music in the background - the front seems to be photos of Brick Lane Tandori restaurants.

Anyone the postcard talks about the boys being seperated on Earth in the 21st Century, spilling vindaloo on the comms unit and talking to someone about building a replacement Rimmer hologram.

The guy they want to talk to runs a website called scanningjupiter.co.uk (try it - it’s live and part of the game) and within the postcard is a link to a pdf that includes a graphic you hold up to a webcam on the right flash video to get more information.

Scanning Jupiter is the website of Professor Bob Giles who is doing research into storms around Jupiter and is writing a paper on hologram technology.

The point of this site seems to be as a communications point for the Red Dwarf boys to talk to each other - with garbled messages and snippets of information. Look out for Krytens to get to the next site.

At the moment the next site along (I’ll let you find it for yourself) has a seven minute video on the making of the new episodes of Red Dwarf with interviews with all the cast and behind the scenes snippets.

I haven’t gone any further than this yet - mainly because I don’t think you can - but I wait by my inbox with baited breath for the next installment of the game and wait by my Sky+ remote for 3 April - the day I can set the first episode to record.

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Stig nose who’s nose

If you’ve spent any small amount of time looking around pages on bbc.co.uk - sorry it’s BBC Online again isn’t it - recently you might have noticed something red.

I was going to have ‘invasion of the expressive red noses’ but changed my mind at the last minute.

You see, as well as the brilliant, if slightly confusing bbc.co.uk/rednoseday and the equally interesting rednoseday.com there are little snippets of the nose across BBC Online.

And I’m not just talking about stories from various parts of the BBC of their coverage or of the banner ads at the top of a number of pages.

I’m also talking about the special noses created for Top Gear (see Stig Nose), the Dot Nose for Eastenders and of course the Alien Nose (Who Nose was too easy) for Doctor Who.

Although there was a clear trick missed here as, surely, you could have gone down the Tom Baker route and given it a hat and scarf combo - one of the noses already has his expression.

Anyway - who nose, this could and looks set to be the biggest and best, as well as most successful (given the point is to raise money) Red Nose Day yet.

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Outnumbered for Red Nose Day

I love Comic Relief, I regularly work late into the night letting people know what islanders are doing and helping collect money - I’m not this year but that’s because we’re going regional.

However I will be going around the island all day taking photos, giving encouragement and generally making a pest of myself.

I was hoping to have some funny ‘local’ video to put on the BBC Jersey website as part of my Stand Up For Jersey idea - but user interactivity in that way wasn’t never going to work.

Basically the idea was to encourage people to submit their jokes about Jersey, funny stories from the island and hilarious situations that local comedian Charlie Daze could then turn into a stand-up routine.

This routine would then be performed in front of a camera for bbc.co.uk/jersey and live on BBC Radio Jersey on Red Nose Day - alas the gods of caution put rain to that parade.

And this year my leg hair is staying on my legs.

Still at least I have the ever amazing Outnumbered to look forward to and any other, easy to do, Red Nose Day ideas between now and next Friday are welcome.

I love outnumbered but am often relieved (having three children myself) at how un nervingly accurate it is.

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