Place your dignity in a clear plastic bag
Coming back to Jersey from England last week I came to the conclusion that flying is not exactly the most dignified mode of transport any more.
In its heydey – the era of Alan Whicker and the jet set – flying was all champagne at your seat and comfort first.
Even as a child I found flying brilliant and fun – even though most of the time it basically involved a cramped plane on a package holiday to Portugal.
Now, travelling using one of the low fairs air shuttle services to and from England feels more like cheap, it passed into the realms of undignified.
Most of the fault here lies with security and that’s a ‘pleasure’ almost all travellers surfer regardless of class of travel.
You get your boarding pass from a computer, or when its broken from a person who closely resembles a breathing computer (they must be REALLY bored).
Then it’s security time.
You go from the check=-in desk through windy corridors, past signs telling you to put water into the bin and your dignity into a bag.
Then, after lining up for several years you are asked to remove shoes, belt, coat and the final bit of your dignity that isn’t in a clear plastic bag – sorry, re-sealable plastic bag.
They scan it all and sometimes you get to walk through the metal detector, pick up your bag, get dressed and move on.
But, if you’re a bit of a scruffy oaf like me – you go through, it doesn’t beep, they still decide to pat you down anyway – and is it me or are they getting more intimate?
Then you have to wait for them to open and rummage through your bag, all because your inhaler looked like liquid on their scanner.
And all of that is at a small regional airport, I really can’t wait to go through the peepy tom scanner and have my retina checked against my biometric passport.
If it wasn’t for the fact it takes so long I’d just go by boat from Jersey or the train across country.
I guess the price we pay for convenience is surrender of dignity.
Next step in the ‘security’ check list: Route A through security for men and Route B for women and children.
Remove all clothing, place ID hand with ID implant on scanner, put clothes and bags through X-ray machine – walk through cloud of cleaning spray, put clothes back on and enjoy your flight.
I have no problem with the airport security process and personally don’t feel stripped of my dignity, just a little inconvenienced. Though I do try to make sure I am as prepared as I can be to make the process as quick and painless as it can be by making sure that everything that I normally carry in my pockets is in my bag and having my laptop and ‘liquids’ bag out of my hand-luggage by the time I get to the x-ray machine.
Talking to the security screeners at T5 when flying out to the US last month, apparently a great cause of delays and as a result the queues we have to suffer is having to wait for people to empty their pockets, remember that they do have their laptop after their bag has been scanned and those that have left other items in their hand luggage that should not be there. Sharp objects are a popular one but medications just as much. The reason your inhaler appeared to be liquid is I’m guessing because it is one with propellant inside it. This is in principal pretty similar to a deodorant can, which of course need to be kept in a little plastic bag which, strictly speaking, inhalers do as well to avoid situations like you had.
UK screening, even US screening is not the most stringent I have come across. When I flew to India, for example, everyone was subject to personal search, every bag subject to both x-ray and a search and, as you suggest as a next step, they had separate sections for females and males. As for taking all your clothes off, I take it you haven’t come across one of the new full body scanners yet which do this without actually having to remove your clothes.
Security screening is something that is never going to go away no matter how much people find it to be inconvenient. Its not going to happen but say for example the government decided to allow two classes of air travel. One where passengers had been checked and another where they had not. Which one would you book with?
That’s an interesting post Michael – especially the question you pose at the end.
My rebel reaction is – not checked – but I know I’d go through check-in. But I think some of it IS ott – the Liquid nonsense is clearly so you have to buy water the other side and do they really need me to remove my belt, shoes and coat?
I do go prepared like you – I remove my laptop, I try never to take any liquids (just buy it all again when I get to my destination) but it’s still annoying and I’m sorry but removing items of clothing, unpacking your bag, being patted down (this happens every time regardless of beeping or not) IS undignified.