Usual Eurovision Rubbish

In just three months time the campest of camp shows in the history of broadcasting will come around for the 52nd time. Yup it’s the Eurovision Song Contest again folks.

The 2008 Song Contest final will be held in Belgrade on Saturday 24 May and will be the usual mix of uber campness, wonderful political posturing and Wogans wonderful witticisms.

I love the Eurovision Song Contest - I sit up late and watch it with my wife and eldest daughter - I love it for the campness of it, I love it for Terry Wogan and most of all I love it for the crap music.

What I don’t love is Britain’s inability to enter an act that might stand a chance of winning the show. OK so politically we’re not best of friends with the rest of Europe and we don’t have any close neighbours that love us enough to give us the 12 - but a could piece of comedy could do the trick.

Or maybe convincing one of our musical heavyweights to give it a go - get someone like Sir Paul, Morrisey, Elton John or Sting involved and we’ll win it because of them alone and politics will be irrelevant.

Failing that - and I doubt will get the big hitters - how about going down the comedy route. I’d like to see someone like the brililant Bill Bailey give it a go - musically gifted, very funny and could sell well to Europe.

And lets face it - he’s going to be a million times better than the usual mix of turd, rubbish and utter shite were stuck with this year.

And for this years Eurovision entry - the biggest problem is going to be Democracy.

People are idiots and know nothing about music and certainly have no idea what might do well in Europe and I include myself in that blatant generalization. These people should NOT be given the chance to vote for a British Eurovision entry.

I was hoping to make this my first Vlog post - but after recording the video and watching it back I decided not to. I don’t want to scare people.

I have a new baby which brings with it a painful lack of sleep - which means I look like I’ve been regurgitated by the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal while doing the Hokey Cokey on my head - this is NOT a pretty site.

So instead I decided to write it as a more traditional blog post - I will save the video for Halloween and post it as a special entry instead.

The choices we’re going to be given - and maybe the problem is more the people that chose who we get to vote for than the people voting for them - are split into three groups.

A panel of judges will vote for the act to go through from each group to the final - along with a wildcard vote - and then the public get to vote for the winner overall.

Of course I think we’d be better going along the Irish route and entering a turkey.

“A turkey is one of the contenders for this year’s Irish entry. For the past few years, we’ve been picking a turkey for the UK,” said Sir Terry.

“Let’s hope that the British public will make the right decision this year, and give the UK’s entry a fighting chance against the Eastern Bloc, in Belgrade in May,” he added.

Little chance of that Terry. Especially as the choices we’ve been given are a man not good enough to play Joseph, a woman not good enough to play Maria, another man not good enough to be the X-Factor winner, a failed pop-star and a couple of dodgy girl groups.

Oh and if enough people reply asking for the video I might consider it - but it is awful.

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