The Name Game

There was a time, a decade or two ago when choosing a name for a child was relatively straight forward - inspiration would come from a relative, book or the bible.

It’s not like that any more - now you have to come up with something unique, original and … well different. The problem with that is that all the ‘nice’ names have already been taken - so either you have to be less than original or give your child a stupid name like - frog prince or something bizarre.

So far we’ve more or less managed to avoid naming our children frog prince or oogyawoogybo - instead plumping to take two slightly original names and band them together to create a double barrelled Christian name (not that we’re Christians mind - and even if we were our children wouldn’t be until they were old enough to decide for themselves).

My eldest, who is very bright and will be seven in November is called Oceana-Skye and the name seems to suite her - my youngest, who is an ADHD riddled little git, but still very bright and fun, who will be four in September, is called Jaden-Taylor.

So as you can see - so far so good - unfortunately my wife has it in her head that the next baby (due in January) also needs to have a double barrelled name.

Now it’s bloody hard thinking of an original name that isn’t overly stupid, very very hard in fact - when you need to add another name to that AND make sure it ‘works’ with the first part of the name - it gets near impossible.

So far our thinking seems to be restricted to girls names only - even though we have no idea what we’re having and won’t have any idea until the scan at the end of August.

Against my wifes wishes I’m going to tell you the names we’re thinking about so far - the reason she doesn’t want me to publish it is in case any of the other parents in Jersey due at the same time decide to use our names - rendering them second rate.

Personally I’d be happy just to call it Oliver if it’s a boy or Olivia if it’s a girl - but that would be FAR too common and even more easy on the brain cells.

So our thinking at the moment is (don’t tell my wife I’ve told you) Aisha-Sophia, Liberty-Sophia and if it’s a boy London-James (James being my fathers name and my middle name).

Of course that will all change within the next few weeks as we see the second scan, have time to actually think about it (Summer holidays last FAR too long) and start reading books and web pages.

A recent study showed that something like 75% of parents wouldn’t mind if their child decided to change its first name when it got older - I have to say I’m in the 25% that would be bloody pissed off.

For each of my children I’ve spent, or at least had to listen to my wife spending, the best part of six months thinking up the perfect name - you’ll like the sodding name, live with it for the rest of your life and stop being so ungrateful all the time!!!!

There are numerous baby name generators out there - but according to my wife the names they churn out are far to commonly used. So it’s back to trowling through lists of obscure names from around the world and drawing on our poetic reserves to find two that fit together.

Maybe a new source of inspiration could be famous musical writing partners - how about John-Taupin (second part might be ok if it wasn’t for the fact that it sounds like a Lord of the Rings Character).

I quite like Lennon as a name - Lennon-McArtney - problem there is the McCartney bit - sounds too much like a surname - how about Lennon-Cartney as a double barrelled first name - I like Oliver-Lennon for a boy (but Oliver is too common and Lennon could be an evil dictator type person).

So what about Gilbert-Sullivan - I’m not calling a child Gilbert. How about Lloyd-Rice - nope sounds like a company selling rice products in a beautifully tailored bags.

Bacharach-David doesn’t really work either although Jagger-Richard (dropping the S) could possibly work then there’s also, bringing it a bit more up to date, the partnership of Doherty-Barat - the first bit might work as Doherty could be a good boys name - but Barat sounds too much like he might end up building lots of cheap homes on the edges of green belt land.

Music partnerships don’t really work for names - inspiration however will come to you in a similar way as the lyrical and musical greats get inspiration for a new song - like a flash at the weirdest of moments.

Thank you and goodnight.

Sphere: Related Content